Oh, excellent! I see what you mean about Yojimbo being prideful like a cat, and you provide excellent reasons for his being mistrustful and demanding payment. I especially like one detail about his character, his using calligraphy as discipline training for his troops.

One tiny critique: I think I would find some way to refer to Gil as coins, or gold, or something along those lines; "transferring to a bank account" sounds awfully modern, although I realize that Spira is a strange blend of futuristic and ancient technology.