Reviews for Morrowind: The Crystal Blades

Reviews For: Morrowind: The Crystal Blades

VinylApproach 2006-07-14 ch 1,	abuseYou, my friend are in need of constructive criticism, so I'll be the first. If you can stand my comments, I can tell you how to revise this story and make it badass. 1)- Spelling and grammar. Spelling and grammar. SPELLING AND GRAMMAR! In case you were wondering, you ned to start using spelling and grammar. I seriously question your intellect if you can't spell "couch" correctly. (you spelled it "coutch" at one point.) Also, use REAL words. It's not "assasinator", it's ASSASSIN. KTHXBAI 2)- Punctuation and dialouge, my friend. Perhaps you've heard of it? Separate your dialouge more, indent when the speaker changes. It's a ridiculously easy way to make the story less sloppy. 3)- Um, the bit with the Crystal ball? Yeah, what is that, Morrowind's version of TV? That was totally unrealistic. This is Morrowind, for christ's sake. The idea for the islands was very cool, but you ruined it with that crystal ball stuff. Make him be talking to someone else and have it come up in conversation or something. Anything but TV. It breaks the fourth wall. 4)- Elaborate and finish your train of thought. It took me 5 minutes to realize Balmora was on FIRE at the end of Ch3. For all I could have known, the fire he was looking at could be anywhere. Lines like, "Should I go down there and kill everyone?" should be much more specific, so we can tell who he's going to kill. 5)- Spend more time on character development. Don't rush into things, don't throw in characters carelessly for the sheer purpose of having David get something. And make the characters more believeable, I mean seriously. One minute he's running an errand, then the next it's OMG SPESHUL PALADIN POWERZ!1 And the guard goes, OMG U HAV 2 HELP US, PLZ BRAVE WARRIOR. It's very Gary-Stuish, and nobody likes a Gary-Stu. 6)- Everything in general moves too fast. Spend more time on your chapters. Anyway, I apologize for my harshness, but you need it. Feel free to email me if you have further questions. Cheers, -Melt-DisneyWorld
The One True Koneko 2006-05-01 ch 5,	abuseCool. Thanks again, the Nevarine is the reincarnated Dark Elf hero Nevrar. But just because he WAS a DE, doesn't mean he is now or that he's even a guy. Oy, Morwin you have one weird history. Morwin: Shutup! She still has no clue who she is thpugh, so it's okay.
Blaze007 2006-04-10 ch 4, anon.	abuseWo! Update, David is kickin' **!! ...i like da silver armor. Of course i don't think i would even be able to lift a finger with that on me. But itz cool! Kill all demons!! I love you!!
The One True Koneko 2006-03-31 ch 4,	abuseCool. i wish it could be longer... Can you put my character in there? Her name is Morwin, and she's a Nordic Knight. Morwin: I'm also the Nevarine! Um... You aren't supposed to know that. Morwin: Really? Oops...

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