I must admit, up until the end, I considered it decent at best. The ending though... the ending... that was brillant. "Not fast enough." was absolutely brillant. The power of some of the scenes (the ending, the calling on the phone and the sergey finally finding out) were written in a way such that even with no description, the dailouge was so realistic that you could picture it happening right in front of you. Very well done. Good job.

It made me cry so much that I got a head ache from forcing my tears not to leave my eyes..

WOW that was really good and very very sad. Also, a little bit of Shiznat is great too, I luv it.

One happy ending, one tear-jerker. Fair enough. ...Darn it, now I'm depressed. But in a good way.

This review is for your story oblivious for gilmore girls. Are you going to finish it because it is so awesome. You just cant leave it on a cliffhanger like that!

Read it, and liked it(very much too). Still, quite a few things bugged me about it, I'll try to make some kind of a list.
-the characters itself: Most of them weren't similar to the ones we've seen on the screen... Like tremalkinger said, I expected the changes with Nina(same goes for mr wang), but the rest were kinda... meh. It would have been better if they had been more true to their "real" selves in the show. Actually I think you managed to write Irina best, which should say something.

-Nina/Nao fight. The start didn't exactly convince me, and 2 women beathing the ** out of each other in a, what I presume to be a coffee shop or something simlar. You'd think that the staff would at the very least call security or police, stuff like that isn't good for the business. And then they just make up and continue being friends, no one saying anything to them about the whole fight. *imagines 2 bloody girls sitting back to table and talking more while sipping on their drinks*

-What happened to the message Ers left? You never mentioned if Sergey or Nina received it.

-Hospital was bit too lax with giving out information on about a patient of theirs... Nina I can understand,(due to the note) but Sergey too? Well, I dunno how it works @ where ever you live, but here it's pretty strict.

-And as sumiregawa pointed out, the Nina/Sergay scene wasn't too good. Changing Sergey's feelings from father-> husband changes his character pretty much, and I think that's part of the reason why it came out bad. "lets be friends" is so cliché, and doubt it would work in that situation.

-I loved how you wrote the Natsuki/Shizuru thing out BEFORE you inserted that scene of Natsuki at Shizuru's door. It worked fine when it was there somewhere, as a background. But when you brought it out, it kind crash landed. It started nice, turned into not so good, and finally took some air under it's wings at the end. Rest of it was pretty OOC IMO. And also, this is based on otome universe, but Shizuru and Natsuki were out of Hime. IMO they are lot closer in Otome.

-The scene where Erstin died. The lines Erstin had are so abused to death. "promise that you'll move on blah blah blah" "say bye to my mother/father/sister/brother/dog/gold fish/" and so on. I have a feeling that you've watched too many hospital dramas. I did like the Paris part though. And Nina's lines were bit more convincing than Ers's. Also, what kind of hospital just leaves one of their patients to die without any attempt to lenghten her life? Or not pump her full of painkillers if she indeed is in so much pain that she just wants to stop it(even if it means death). I did absolutely love the ending, I should have guessed it from the title >_< I deal with the speed of sound almost daily and I didn't recognize it x_x *likes to turn his brains off while reading*

-The fact that you made Ers have HIV. It works, but I see it used _often_. Even BSE would be better because of that. But it does add some funky aspects. Just how long has Nina been having sex with Ers? I can already imagine even angstier ending of Nina dying few years later, due to getting infection from Erstin. Maybe it'd even keel Sergey... or on second thought, nah. That guy wouldn't die when he was shot to head(by both nina and nagi) or when he was pierced with a sword, so I doubt something that "minor" would be enough to take him down -_-;

Bah, I'm such a sucker for angst... And for Ers too >_< Anyway, absolutely loved this fic(both lenght and content), please do write more. I'd love to see fic with happy ending for these two... 2 with character death, and 1 which left the interpretation of nina/ers relationship to reader, 0 with nice happy and clear ending. *added to author alert list in case of more otome fics*

~DarkFeenix

Firstly, I generally dislike AU stories, and I generally dislike sad endings. I mean, that wasn't just angst, that was crushing at the end. I'll agree the characterization of Nina was pretty off compared to what we see in the anime, but once you said that Sergey and Nina were married, I sort of expected some pretty serious changes to Nina's character, so it wasn't jarring.

It's hard for me to exactly say what I feel about the story. I guess ultimately I didn't enjoy it, mainly because it was so depressing. But this story was EXTREMELY well written. You've got a lot of talent as an author... but different tastes than I as far as what makes a story good.

I've added you to my alerts. Keep writing! Hopefully something more happy next time?

Well unlike other reviewers of this chapter, I'm afraid I'll have to say I wasn't terribly impressed with the characterization, even for it being an AU piece.

Nina's choice of Ers over Sergay, for example, seems a bit farfetched for her character. This is the woman who is literally sacraficing *everything* just to fulfill what she believes that Sergay wants. I'd never picture Nina the type of character to risk on dreams and unstable things. That's part of who she is. Short of that, she's just some person with the same name of Nina Wang.

Secondly, Ers in this piece is a very typical martyr, with hardly any characterization either. The most character for her was expressed when she was fighting against Nina in the risque scene, and this seemed more to say "I'm abused, and you're fooling yourself, so just choose!"

In terms of scenes: Nina calling Nao a **? Pot meet kettle, anyone?

Also, I could sum up the scene you wrote between Nina and Sergay towards the end in about 4 sentences. 1) Nina: "I chose Ers." 2) Sergay: "No! Well, ok. So long as you are happy, then so am I." 3) Nina: "Let's be friends, ok?" 4) Sergay: "Of course!" -- I won't mention how paperdoll thin these characterizations are, either.

I also will not touch Shizuru and Natsuki's scene.

I really loved your catch line at the end, and that was very appropriate, but I'd really recommend that you may try to develop your characterization a bit more. How they are now seems flimsy and OOC (not just AU) at best.

I usually dont like AU fics either but godness, this was amazing.

I love this and plan to fav it as we speak XD. I do hope you will be writing more in the future, the ending was splendid and wonderfully written. As much as I enjoy fluff, angst is always an interesting highway to take also :).

Please keep on writing (not on this fic, its fine as it is), I'm sure I'm not the only one who would enjoy your works.

Wow. I don't usually prefer the AU-like stories, but this is an exception. It was cute, amusing, and quite painful also. Well written. Very well written. Darn, ouch, some of the lines just ripped my heart into little pieces.
Eh, before I start rambling (any more than I already am), I'll just close it up with a 'it is very very good' and a 'write again in the future'.

Man that was sad.
Very well written, you need to write a happy Nina/Erstin, that's be awesome.
Anyway keep up the great work!

Very, very nice.

Words fail me, now, so I won't even bother crapping and gushing about how well you played with words.

It's nice to see a new light to the relationship between Nina and Erstin, as well as between Shizuru and Natsuki. A very fine job, Avy. ^_^

Okay. This is an interesting plot. Write more!

Wow...that was intense. It really gives a whole new perspective on Nina and Erstin, it has convinced me of how great of a pairing they are. The Shiznat part was excellent as well. Great job!!

guah. you made me cry.