“Whatever.” Motoko finally said.

this should be "Whatever." Yugito finally said

But we're eating with Iruka in two hours...” Motoko said, confused, and then shrugged. Whatever! It's not like Naruto understood girls, anyway. Carefully, Motoko tucked the valuable technique scrolls into her backpack, and strode down the street.

Even if Naruto's in a female form he'll never understanad girls

In a puff of smoke, she appeared. She was just as buxom and curvaceous as Naruko, but had less hair, neck-length, and held back on the left side with a hair clip. Her eyes were still blue, but much darker. Her face was more heart-shaped, with more pronounced cheek-bones than Naruto had. She also looked to be about 15 or 16, older than Naruto by several years.

This would make an interesting picture to see. This story turned out to be funny and entertaining

In all honesty, the first couple times that I saw the summary of this story...I skipped over it because of the Festival name. However, after reading your Accounting no Jutsu story, I decided to take a chance.

I am very glad I did. All the portrayals including Motoko were exceptionally well done, and I enjoyed reading the interactions between Yugito and Naruto as well as the other villages thinking Naruto is some sort of super ninja.

Anyways, thank you for writing this wonderful fanfic. Probably going to read your sequel now.

Lol, it's over nine thousand and rising!

Spying no Jutsu was a good story. Lots of comedy, and you even made the fights fun. This surprised me since I normally don't like reading fights between minor (to the story) characters and bad guys; especially when the bad guys are wining.

a song for the end



FOOLY COOLY !!


"Ride on Shooting Star",

Slide of an orange reflects in the sky
Hanging the pride of a sponge

Spider
No need to hide
the premonition of life captured
it is like a colored dream

Ride on shooting star
I continued singing
like a shotgun with all my heart

A grunged hamster becomes more mature
and is accompanied by a lobster of revenge

Sniper
What do you say that
you can see in that framed world?
I want to touch it before you aim

Ride on shooting star
I'm looking for you and I'm having withdrawal symptoms
I lied to you

Ride on shooting star
I continued singing
like a shotgun with all my heart

Read the whole story so far (chapter 11) in one go, and i can say i really like it. Even if i'm not a fan of drawn out fights. Yours had a reason to be, but i skimmed over it, any way i'm just no good at imagining those scenes. Liked the pieces of humour, they didn't seem too forced or put in the story for the sake of trying to be funny.

Keep up the good work.

Great story. I really enjoyed it and I'm looking forward to reading your sequel. I'm honestly not sure whether I'm pleased or dissappointed that you didn't make more out of the way Naruto was dressed during the fight with the Akatsuki. I could easily see it being mentioned that he had fought them in his underwear and someone, probably Jiraiya, asking 'what were the Akatsuki doing in your underwear?'

o hai.
I just thought I'd let you know, you're getting it wrong.
I love the story, it had me hooked for like 4 straight hours reading it, but:
name-donno: very respected person, emporer etc
name-sama: very respected person
name-san: mr/mrs/ms...etc etc blah blah blah
name-chan/kun: for someone you know well
name: having the name alone is very INTIMATE for japanese people, and can easily cause offence.
So when you have "Motoko" say you aren't allowed to call me -chan.
Its dumb.
DID NOT DO RESEARCH! >:(
It's like a boss sitting down next to an employee he barely knows.
Employee: Hello, My Love
Boss: No please, call me Mr. Smith
See.

Sorry, you're a lot of a better writer than most people (me definately included) but I hate to see you slipping up on the same mistakes as the fangirls because like them, you don't actually know what you're talking about.
So go back. And correct it.
Now, bitch.
xP
P.S. Really did love it, this just pisses me off when people think they know Japanese culture and... don't.

You had some pretty good fight scenes there, especially considering you actually made the Akatsuki defeat your OC's, which let me assure you does not happen very often. Also your omakes were damn funny, especially Itachi's "“For the next 72 hours,” Itachi intoned, “I will slap you with this trout.”"

On the other hand, Tsunade seems to be the most evil person in the world and I don't mean that in a joking manner. That prank on Sasuke was not a prank, it was one of the most evil things that can be done to a person. Had Sasuke smashed through Naruto's lung again, I would say he deserved it. So long story short, I didn't see any humor there, I just felt bad for him.

Ignoring that it was a pretty good story.

Hidan isn't a swordsman.

He's not from mist, either. But he does have a badass character xD

“Eating.” Kisame said. “There’s a really good taco stand just into the Earth Country from Snow.”

The Pein closed his eyes and lowered his face into his palm.

I love that line! For a moment, I thought it should have gone:

The Pein closed His eyes and lowered His face into His palm.



I think this is one of the most awesome fanfictions I have ever read. Especially the Akatsuki.

this story is ownage. its freaking hilarious~

hope this story gets 10 reviews so you can get into the 10k review c2~

im looking forward to finding your story there!

Ursura is based off Ursula? I would have thought it would be more based off of the fact that bears are from the family Ursidae.