Aww I like the interaction between Kureno and Akito, it's very very sweet. Aww, Akito still feels that bond towards Shigure. I think that Kureno has a different reason for staying with Akito but since it was never stated in any way in the manga then I agree that it can be manipulated. Such a cute start to the story ^_^, I'm confused is Kureno discussing prostitution? I'm not sure but I thought that Kureno's parents were shown in the manga, when he was playing with his toys as a really small kid but that's just my perspective. I think you should soften the language in this part otherwise it's a kind of eerie story for a child...and that's how she died. I like noting the difference between the serene Kureno and the energetic Shigure. Kureno is such a great teacher to Akito due to his kindness and lack of bias and negative emotions, I think everyone adores that about him. You might want to include Ren's name because by the repetition of 'her' makes it somewhat confusing. Wow the end of that scene was extremely deep.

One Day Later:
Hmm, I'm wondering where you're from since you've used both the English [mum] and American (mom) spellings of the word. I can't begin to imagine this pain, getting rid of ones parents like this, it's sad. I'm really enjoying this conversation about Akito but still, it is slightly boring but I'm not sure what to say to improve it. Yay we get to see how it feels to get memories "hidden" without having to go through the practice oneself. Aww it's so sad, these happy memories being lost and left, so so sad. I'm wondering whether Kureno would truly remember entering under Hatori's powers since the other's didn't have a clue about it and about the promise.

Slight Spoiler:
I feel the same, *hugs Kureno* everyone must love the bird
Anyways fantastic fic, nice work
~Myst

Yay, I love Haru and I do feel the same way for Momiji. He deserves attention, and yes they all deserve attention but I'm not sure why you keep including Ritsu in this, his mother seems to really care about him, although she's insane. I like the descriptions you have and the metaphors, but I guess I've told you that a million or more times now. 0.0 who on earth touches dead birds? You seem to have a good grasp on Haru's behavior however I wished you used Rin's snow quote about Haru's hair in the early beginning. I've also noticed something, most of your work revolves around reflection and no real continuation, although this is a different type of writing perhaps you should write a fic about an event most children can relate to and reference back, I know you have stories with new scenes like this but it doesn't seem the majority of your work is progressing into the future but focussing back on the past, write a fic and change your style dramatically, if you do something like that I assure you you'll feel a better writer, I do.

Aww Haru is so concerned about Rin, although you do show a good balance here perhaps use more childlike imagery to reflect the moods and age of those you're writing about. Nice descriptions about Rin it really brings me to feel empathy for the situation, excellent work.

Aww, Rin's thoughts, [I'm assuming this is Rin, is so like her and I feel so bad for knowing what's going to happen next] a criticism is that I thought there was a bigger time gap between the two events but I could be wrong. It sickens me a little to note how perfect this family seems when it's nothing of the kind.

One Day Earlier
I'm surprised Yuki was allowed to play with others because I thought he had strict solitary confinement sans Akito who feels Yuki is her "play thing". I didn't expect Kagura's mother to be this way however I can not criticize characterization of these minor characters since it's built on perspective. Nice symbol of the game, life is all a game it's all a play but it may never end.
~Myst

[I think I'll read the next chapter later since I have college classes soon]

Poor Hatori, every time I think about it I wonder what I would feel if holding Hatori's power, it seems like a gift but also a curse just as the Zodiac curse is the same. I hate the idea of Momiji's father being rewarded for Momiji's birth but it seems very real that it could happen and makes me dislike him and his interference within the pages of the manga. I feel so sorry for Momiji in this, and Hatori who has had to remove happiness from everyone including himself. Momiji is so cute here and I just want to hug him for his concern over his mother.

Days Earlier
It's really saddening, I think more description could be used here since it seems slightly bland. I never really analyzed this as Momiji getting pushed into a corner, thankyou for allowing me to see that ^_^. I feel as if you could have made this more age relevant by adding childish language but Momiji's thoughts are understood quite well. Aww, I really pity Momiji's mother and the way you described it but since it is such an angsty scene then use more descriptions and notes on the nonverbal communication to set the tone stronger. I like the conversation about Hatori looking over Momiji, it's one of the most touching relationships. Aww Hatori is so considerate I just want to huggle them ^_^ That's so sad, but you can tell how people are from their hugs it's a nice way to look at things.
Thankyou for the chapter
~Myst

Nice choice of poem since it does show some connections to Katsuya and Kyoko's story especially after Katsuya's death. I like how you've depicted grandfather in this chapter, it reminds me of chapter nineteen where Kyo talks to him instead of going to the grave. Grandfather's thoughts are also perfect to his character since he has expressed a lot of these thoughts in the manga, his character always leads me to question what kind of people the Honda family were. Are you saying Kyoko was driving because that's inaccurate ^^;;. Tohru is great too especially her consideration towards other people.

Three Weeks Earlier:
Do you mean psychiatrist instead of psychologist? Most schools would have the former rather than the latter. Tohru is so cute when she panics but that will just turn to depression soon right? I like how you put the stomach drop, maybe mention the cold chills those always signify something bad happening, I've had experiences like that before. I like the picture of non acceptance but also inner turmoil incredibly human. So sad, it lacks emotion somewhat but I feel that makes it even more powerful. Nice connection to the hair because I feel that too, not that I've ever seen a cadaver or corpse in my life 0.0. It's nice to see how these events take place, it's nice.
~Myst

Great description of the room and analogy about life, nice connection between Kazuma and Akito I suppose that he would have had to ask for his permission. I can imagine Akito saying these lines although I would like to feel more intensity and tension in these lines. I get the emotion you're wishing to convey in this chapter however you should draw it out, create more darker descriptions and make the scene eerier. Hmm, why could Ritsu have used his help? Ritsu has both parents, even though Meshyou is insane. Great word choice but it could be darker and more destructive.

Three Weeks Earlier:
Very sweet family interaction, it's adorable and yet somehow it must feel so strange if one were to look back on it. Aww, poor Kyo having to have his bracelet checked all the time, the manga and anime never allowed the fan to understand Kyo's mother and although I imagine her different to this your depiction in itself is beautiful. Aww, that's so heart wrenching, I'm just glad that you showed Shigure in both of these because he's the connection. I think you should describe the scene after the death some more to create a sadder overtone. Aww, poor Kyo, I feel so bad for him and this "childish morality". I love the support that Kazuma brings towards Kyo, it's touching honestly. Wow I love that bit of surprise at the end.
~Myst

The Little Boy Lost:
I like the choice in poetry that you used because it really does set a good tone. I enjoyed the description of the room and it's space and environment, good work. I agree with the fact that they're more of a smoking family, both figuratively and literally, do you know that an ashtray is one of the first things you can notice inside Shigure's house? Nice interaction between Yuki's mother and Shigure but I think she'd find him a little more irritating. Your characterization of Yuki's mother is perfect but then you've been getting every single character nailed down.

An Hour Earlier:
Poor Yuki, I understand what he's saying but I think this language is a little too mature, when he was younger he felt more freedom to speak but as he grew up he became more and more trapped and lost his voice, therefore I think these words and sentence structure wouldn't really suit Yuki. I mean that's my perspective but everything else seems to work well with the situations you chose.

Present:
Poor Yuki, I really feel sorry but your transitions are great between the different stages you have in your chapters. I like seeing Hatori and Shigure's support, I think the Mabudachi Trio are all really nice people which is why stories with them inspire me. Wow, Shigure's emotions don't last long do they?

Anyway onto the next chapter
~Myst

these are so good! i couldnt stop crying!

Kureno was a good way to end it and I do wonder if his parents were anything like that because Kureno is as Shigure said Akito's 'pet' I have enjoyed reading this but I bet your sick of me by now lol so ill leave it at that.

It makes sense that Akito would know that they were acting as if anyone would notice she would. Rin's past is one of the worst in my opinion tho there is quite a lot in the worst box I have to admit. And the fact that you did most of it from the eyes of Haru that was a great touch with him being so so close to her

This was sad and I really do feel sorry for Momiji with his mother rejecting him like that I know that it must be hard but complete rejection and to such a young child *wince* It's hard to understand. Hatori must feel so guilty about it but knows that if ordered he does it anyway I liked this bit
I put my hand over her eyes and make Momitchi disappear, and in my mind I can hear Yuki crying for his friends. so sad... :(

I wouldn’t want anyone else blamed for my sins.
“I confess!”
hehe this is so Tohru getting all worked up over something she has imagined when she doesn't even know what she is being called for as of yet lol
oh ok you have made me have tears and I haven't even finished yet up to the Be safe! :(...
I really don't like her family only her grandpa was nice

"Yes…? Were you going to beg today, or should I come back later?” oh oh ouch! ways with words Akito really has I think Akito may be where Yuki gained his sharp tongue from especially where words are concerned.
You show how Akito can make someone aggree just by stressing one word but when Akito mentioned other of the juunishi who would have also benifited from the offer that did make me wince.
“I don’t need to control you, Kazuma. I control him.” ouch ouch ouch but oh so true

Ok - I've figured out WHAT about Akito in this fic gives me the chills. One minute his a lost little boy - innocent to all ways. The next... he's this (rather sick in the head) wise adult God who knows all and controls it. Deliciously Creepy!

Also... I might have mentioned this before - what I say and what I think sometimes gets confused :P - The fact that Akito CANNOT understand that loving someone doesn't mean you stop loving another - foundation of Akito. You spell that out well in these fics. You would THINK it would be humanly impossible for someone to NOT be able to comprehend that people ARE able to love more than one person and love them equally. And that love comes without a price usually. Poor Akito - his entire life is a bad episode of adults telling him lies ... thus making him the cruel God he can be. :(

Wow thats depressing - :D Sorry - Ok Lovely, good, and excellent! Please update something soon :P hahaha!

Holy smokes!

I have to review now before I forget the million thoughts buzzing around! Kyo-Kunn!
Fantastic!
I cherish that scene - where Kazuma approaches Kyo. The whole effect was very powerful - congrats!

Ok... reading onward...

Your so amazing and such a good writer! I'm sorry that I haven't reviewed for a very long time, but I blame that on school. Please don't end this fanfic! It's so good!:D

~Aleka Nitza~