Hm very well written. I like the way you write with Ai. I look forward to the next story you write

Interesting story. Too bad this have to be a one shot. Looking forward for more Ai story

I thought it was a nice ONE-SHOT. I liked how it went really in depth about her feelings and characters. Good job!

-Kristine X3-

Hm...distance ed. courses really changes the way you think:

"...so perfect, so nice, so serene..." Try using some word other than 'nice'; it doesn't do justice to the description. Perhaps omit the 'so nice' part.

"...then snapped out of her stupor...reacted instantly, catching it expertly..." 'snapped,' 'instantly,' and 'expertly' seems somewhat awkward in this story. You paint a picture of calmness, but your choice of words seem a bit...technical in the context of the sentences.

Softer, blander words ('came out of,') omitting 'reacted instantly' and 'it expertly' could help smooth the overall tone of the story.

"Yeah, Haibara," he said quietly over the splashing noise ...earning a few chuckles from Mitsuhiko and Ayumi in return, "now it would be a good time to replace me and save me from this." He added, deadpanning discreetly.

I think the best way to say this is:
"
"Yes, Haibara," he said quietly over the noise as Genta... and sqeals (they're kids!) of delight...

She looked at him, wondering. Could he have been thinking of the same thing?

"Have some fun and join us. You deserve it."
"

What do you think?

Beautiful! An in-depth portrayal. I love the way this played out. I like stories that focus on Haibara and her past or her psyche. I'm so glad you're writing for the fandom again! I'm looking forward to anything to write! ^_^

Aww... It started off looking like a lot of fics I've seen, but the ending is very different. Few stories have Ai being optimistic even just for that little while. x3 Makes me want to cuddle her just for allowing herself to loosen up. Love the fic!

nice story

awe- I liked it. =3 Go Ai fics, go!

Heey, cool! I liked this a lot! ^_^ I love Ai-chan, and this was very well written. Hope to see more from you.

yay!