|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Lina 2006-08-21 ch 14, anon. | abuseWell then, now I've read the final chapters also. The thirteenth chapter was the best one, although I thought it was kinda weird to let him live for another one and a half week after getting his heart torn out. And while speaking of hearts, when I first read the last line of that same chapter (my head slumped down on Mujaki) I thought it said "my heart..." Which resulted in a massive outburst of laugther. (You better refrase that 'slightly weird' comment of yours into 'mentally insane' or something) |
| blacksocks 2006-07-19 ch 14, anon. | abuseI read this in one go, and noticed that you apparently only have 4 reviews. I'll read them when I'm done with mine. You had an interesting plot that had okay development. The writing style was rather monotone, and not elaborated well, or very descriptive. I was hoping to see an improvement in style from the begining of the story to the end, but if there was one, it wasn't very significant. Although you descriptions improved slightly. I guess it takes some skill to remain that consistant. Your spelling was rather good throughout, with several errors that drove me nuts. One was heart being spelled as hearth, another was cover as cower. I think there was a mixup when you spell checked. Other than that, there are some common grammar rules you need to refresh, such as "I and _" should be "_ and I". You had very few sentence fragments, or run on sentences, which you should be proud of. Many people who write on this site have problems with both. Hope you continue to write and improve. |
| someweirdperson 2006-06-17 ch 2, anon. | abuseI stand corrected |
| MagmaGecko 2006-06-13 ch 1, anon. | abuseYo dude, how come u only have 3 reviews? I think this story is **'n! Keep up the good work... Forge on McDuff |
| Kurisu 2006-05-30 ch 1, anon. | abuseWow. FOr a fairly good story, thiss sure doesn't have a lot of review. Sure it might not be the best one out there, but still... That other reviewer was pretty harsh, too. |
| someweirdperson 2006-05-13 ch 1, | abuseI didn't even read one sentence of this story so I wont comment about the plot. Then why did I bother to write a review? I want to tell you why you aren't getting any. The topic you chose simply was not interesting. I mean who wants to read a naruto story about some stupid oc. For all I know this could be incredibly well written but that idea sucked. Even if this seems like an unkind review be glad you got one this is the only one this story will ever get. |