Amazing work, as usual. (I thought your summary was very intriguing; that's the reason why I read this fic, actually. =P)

Once again, you managed to put a whole new spin on a subject that's been written about many times. I've never thought about the death of Shisui as happening like this... it's very, very possible, and oh, what wouldn't I give to have this be canon. =D

You write BEAUTIFULLY. And I always enjoy your comments/notes as much as your stories.

I think it is quite good, though I'd like it to be longer. And, as already written by someone else, your explanations at the end takes it to another level; it was really mostly a couple of sentences to me in the beginning (though that may be because I'm tired?), but the edit gave it a MEANING. A more solid purpose, and I think the fic would be alot better if you could incorporate it in the actual fic, because really, shouldn't the story be longer than the AN?

You seem smart,learning from and all.Your explainations add a whole new level,perhaps you could make oblique references to these facts in the fic itself?Hope you continue this.

this is a personal problem I have with the fic..

"Shisui chokes on his own blood and dies, pathetically, out in the deserted river valley. He manages to say something, before the end."

I know that you've written that he spoke before his death, but writing that "Shisui chokes on his own blood and dies," makes his death kind of final, like there should be nothing coming from Shisui after that. That sentence is powerful and very, very solid, but even so, I think it takes away from your (wonderfully written) story as a whole. Maybe instead of "dies" you could use "is dying"?
I know I shouldn't be saying all this because your fic was beautifully written and my writing cannot even compare to yours, but that sentence stuck out to me so I thought I should mention it.

I'm sorry T^T. I feel like I'm only leaving you mean reviews, but trust me when I say this, I leave almost no one reviews, I only leave reviews cause love your writing and I'm really really pick about writing that I love to death. Your fics are the best naruto fics I've read since sunfreak stopped writing and you have idea how happy I am to find an awesome writer. .. ok.. I think I've officially freaked you out with all these compliments.. anyway.. back to the review..

"Comment on tense use, please. It's fucked up right now."
its fucked up? I think it reads fine. I reread it, changing all the past tense to present. It's different when its all in present tense (obviously), but I'm not sure if its differnt in a good or bad why. If you decide to edit the fic though, i suggest that you keep the last half in the tense that its in. Present tense is definitely more powerful for these kinds of fics.
I personally like it the way it is tho :)
it kind of sounds like Itachi is recalling a memory at first, and he's so absorbed into it, it feels like he's reliving it.

Short but rather powerful. Quite an original and unique perspective because most people would've pictured Itachi ploted the whole thing out before he killed Shisui. Love the last line.

I'm reading it as taking place as the katana is hitting him. The stuff before that is past tenst, the stuff after is present, right?

Wahahaha... this reminds me of Tsubaki, just a little. Itachi, terrified? Yeah, I like it. I like Itachi, twelve and terrified.

I get the feeling that Shisui was sent to assasinate Itachi (I've always wondered, btw, how the boy could kill his best friend if he had the heartplace to HAVE a best friend in the first. Sasuke, I think, was nearly the exception b/c of the curse seal; it made him less than human, as the Death Forest Arc demonstrated).

The tense use is perfect, I think. It's very natural--I hardly noticed it. The only problem is this sentence:

'Itachi, twelve and terrified, refuses to hear it. It comes anyway.'

because the sentence before (: 'Shisui says something before Itachi scrambles away and he chokes on his own blood and dies, pathetically, out in the deserted river valley.') implies that Itachi is refusing to hear the deserted river valley, and that it (DRV) is COMING. (dundundun...) XD

This can be clarified by ending the above sentence with 'Shisui says something', or something to that effect. Something that doesn't affect the understanding of time flow, but also brings the reader to the ultimate, heavy conclusion without making them guess what they just read. Cuz that's, you know, uneffective.

Regardless, I loved it!

O.o Wow, now *there* is something that I haven't seen before. ^^ Are you *sure* it's not a 'forgive the lunatic' fic? :p