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| MusicalLife17 2008-06-29 ch 21,  | abuseloved it loved it loved it extreamly well written well done |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 21, | abuseYAY! I loved it, looking for a sequel! |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 17, | abuseAww eff. stupid ** Sylvia with her stupid...ASSNESS! Good thing they got back together, though. YAY! |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 16, | abuse“Nope, it’s the one I’m cheating on that girl with.” He said sarcastically. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! Haha, ha. Such Dallyness has never been said in two sentances. Return of teh 'Rents! I sense yet another thickening raddish. ~Deh Tigress |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 14, | abuseih...ih...ih...**wipes tears out of eyes** I loved that. a lot. a really lot. teh Dally lives... ~Deh Tigress |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 13, | abuseoh...more bawling! Johnny sure as hell better stay the hell alive! Stupid ** doctors...they're worse than lawyers... ok. that was a great chapter. now I gonna go drag myself into my corner and BAWL some more. Dammit Dallas, DON'T DIE. |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 12, | abuse0.o ...WAH! **bawls uncontrollably** PLZ LET DALLY BE OKAY! I dun wan him to diez! Again...**sniffle** ~Deh Tigress |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 10, | abuseAnd thickens even more... |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 9, | abuseHm...so the raddish thickens... |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 8, | abuseUm...damn...I knew I was going to say something... OH YEAH! I loved the Dally POVs, they were great additives to the story. This part, I loved: "Dally came up and wrapped his arm around me and cracked his knuckles when he noticed a guy staring at me as I leaned against the counter." IN fact, would you mind if I borrowed it? I'll give cred to you, promise! onward, then... ~Deh Tigress |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 5, | abuseHmm...nothing to say here, on the past two chapters, other than that I liked them. :D you have pleased Deh Nocturne ~luv: me |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 3, | abuseMwahahahaha! What do the wolfie have planned for dearest Alice? Good news: I LOL'd at this line: “Liar.” Tim said. “She’s trying to impress Dallas.” I dunno, somehow that struck me as hilarious. Bad news: I'm getting fed up with the clothes descriptions. It's sort of unecesary, unless there's a special occasion. Not to offend...but it's unecesarry. ~Deh Tigress |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 2, | abuseI'm addicted. But still a critiquer. So here it is. I LOVED the tossing-around scene. Loved it. Too much for words. I also loved Dally encounter #1. Very nice. HOWEVAH! The paragraph involving the throwing should be split up and turned into many small ones, becasue many people are talking and there shpould be a new paragraph for each speaker. Make sense? good. Also, the following sentance distrubed me: “Why haven’t you introduced me to them before, they were fun?” Why? because it makes it sound like "They were fun" is a question. And it's not. it can be fixed as follows: “Why haven’t you introduced me to them before? They were fun!” ~Deh Tigress |
| nocturne tigress 2008-06-02 ch 1, | abuseHm...well, this is going to be sort of a mixed review, so I'm sorry. I love teh story line...interesting idea that could only get interestinger...XD However, conventions are...lacking. you're missing question marks, a lot the prose (the "not dialogue") is choppy, and the way you mark dialogue isn't right. When someone says something and then does something it should be marked as follows: ((“Alice,” I said, nodding my head to them.)) instead of: ((“Alice.” I said nodding my head to them.)) But I still love it, and I'm a sucker for Dally stories...so away I go... |
| My-Arabian-Knight 2007-10-11 ch 14, | abuseOMG I LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS STORY |