OMG you havent updated in over a year... i hope you come out of you hiatus so that you can update this story. this is a really really goos story so i really hope you finish it.

Wow. I can't believe I haven't come upon this fic until now. So...when the eppie coming? And even if it doesn't, this remains a superbly good story. :D

That was so sad! Good job! ^^

With none of Izumi’s Red Stones left to sustain him, he no longer had the ability to heal or be revived.
He was now as vulnerable as any normal human being…
“What did you do just now to Envy?” his human self spoke up beside Al.
Ed had to fight to bring the real Edward Elric’s face into focus. Swallowing thickly against the coppery rise of liquid in the back of his throat, Ed weakly explained in between increasingly shallow pants of air, “I de-transmuted him… Besides copying alchemy attacks, that’s my homunculus power_He expelled all his stones, he no longer had abilities, as weak and vulnerable as a human_yet after becoming mortal he still had his humunculus powers to kill Envy? That doesn't make any sense. The stones power his humunculus powers-but he didn't have any stones-so how did he activate them to kill Envy?

You killed wrath and fake ed_the 2 good ones; yet you left gluttony alive_the one who eats people gets to live-that just isn't right.

I liked how you had fake-ed say that all he really wanted was acknowledgment from his younger brother-to not be alone--that was sweet.

you wrote: ((Homunculus!Ed was still guilty of numerous crimes))_all I can remember him doing was kill tucker-who was a chimera, not a human_who transmuted his own daughter into a dog creature_he had already been sentenced to death for that crime; but the state hid him away to do secret research--so that's no great loss-tucker would have ben sentenced to death again for doing the human transmutation anyway. The 2nd thing he did was attack jean havoc-who will recover. He then hid himself away in the underground city. He didn't fight until the army came to kill him. the only person fake-ed fought was real ed, and he's still alive. And he defended against attack by mustang and returned the attack to him-but it didn't hurt mustang. How does this translate to 'numerous crimes' that deserve his death? Fake-ed even did something especially good that none of the other people could do--he killed envy to keep edward and al safe_because he knew envy would try to kill them.

I feel this chapter was not as good as all the previous ones. this one felt rushed. like there should have been 2 or 3 chapters and you crammed it all into 1. Still a good story though. thanks

I may not have a soul but I’m still exactly the same as you. I have your thoughts, your emotions, your memories. The only thing that differentiates you and me is something that isn’t tangible or can even be proven by science to actually exist._This is such a passionate and logical argument-I'm surprised it didn't make ed re-think his desire to kill him. after all-if alter-ed believes it; so must real ed.


“But no matter how wronged you feel, it still doesn’t change the fact you killed a helpless man in cold blood and tried to kill another. If I know nothing else about you, those facts alone tell me you have to be stopped at all costs.”_this is so out of character for ed. the reasons he gives don't equal his statement of 'you have to be stopped at all cost'. that means if a platoon of men have to die to stop alter-ed that ed is okay with it. and tucker was no innocent-he'd already been sentenced to death once and got out of it so he could secretly experiment for the government. and he didn't kill havoc. alter-ed shows more signs of humanity than most humans and definitely more than a regular humunculus. alter-ed is ed with more power. has his memories, emotions. intellect, etc...most importantly he has the same love for al that ed does. that's why he's so angry.


“He left because Brother touched him,” Al said. Everyone glanced at him with mixed expressions.
Ed quirked his head at his younger brother questioningly. “What are you talking about, Al? Of course I touched him. We were fighting and I couldn’t use any alchemy attacks against him. I had to fight hand to hand.”
“No,” Al said, shaking his head. “You were fighting him with your automail. It was only after I got hurt that you actually touched him with your real body. Didn’t you see the way he froze and suddenly startled shaking when you did? It was exactly like what happens when homunculi are exposed to the remains of whoever they were made after.”
A deafening silence fell over the group, Al’s words echoing loudly through the empty sound vacuum left by his unforeseen revelation. Everyone stared at the young alchemist.
“But…” Ed said, openly taken aback by this, “that doesn’t make any sense. Homunculi freeze whenever they get anywhere near their original half’s remains. Why would he have reacted like that after we’d been fighting for so long? If what you’re saying is true and he somehow reacts like that around me, then why didn’t he freeze before we ever even started fighting?”
“It’s because you actually touched it,”_Though i think it's a really smart idea that you have ed's flesh be alter-ed's weakness; I do have some points to make. alter-ed was beating ed senseless-you would think that his fists would be covered in ed's blood and that didn't make him freeze up. If flesh freezes him up so should blood. If that were the case; the soldiers could dip their bullets in ed's blood and coat knives and swords with his blood and the soldiers wouldn't be so defenseless. But more importantly--it was looking like the reason alter-ed retreated was because he couldn't deal with the horror of the fact that he had accidentally hurt al (you even had real ed see the sadness, regret and horror and confusion in fake ed's eyes after he accidentally hit al) you made it sound like he had no time to stop his punch with the ferocity of the attack you were describing. fake ed didn't even want to fight real ed. he asked him to leave and no one would get hurt. and you made it seem like the only reason he stopped was because he hurt al_who he loves as much as real ed does. for no one to mention that seems like your purposely denying fake ed's humanity and love for al. You also brought up the fact that ed had previously had his arm smashed to pieces-that he had to hold it together with his other hand when he stood. but then you had him punch fake ed with it after you said it was destroyed. you've also failed to explain how a humunculus of a person who isn't dead can even be made. you wrote that tucker used the same transmutation circle to bring dead people to life. yet it made a copy of someone who is alive. maybe fake ed shouldn't be a humunculus. maybe he should be something else. then you wouldn't have to worry about the rules that apply to humunculus.

also; what is wrath's power. he doesn't seem to have any. the others have these remarkable powers but all wrath can do is acrobats. you wrote that he couldn't even track how fast envy moved. it just seems envy defeated him way too easy. especially when wrath was fighting to protect his mother_one would think that would give him the extra strength/power to at least put up a better fight. you had ed suddenly be able to stand and fight fake ed; after he'd been essentially beaten. he had broken ribs a broken auto-mail arm and was all tired out. but seeing al hurt seemed to turn him into a new man. so why didn't wrath have the same power/strength to fight for his mother after envy hurt her. you even had him call her mama. I hope wrath lives and goes to live with his mother-he deserves it. I also hope fake ed has an option to live a free life. you've written him to be human in almost every way. you gave him emotions and he loves al. you gave him compassion by showing him offering not to hurt anybody as long as they didn't fight him, causing him to fight in return. he was only fighting for the life that mustang and al allowed him to have by feeding him stones and having al beg not to kill him and having mustang unable to kill him.

these points aren't negative criticism. this was still a really good chapter. i just felt i should point out the things i noticed that seemed to be missing or contradictory from what you've written in previous chapters.
The whole story has been really good. exciting and filled with action and surprises. As i've mentioned before-your action and dialog writing are excellent. You also do a really good job expressing the characters emotions in a very reaistic way. I am always excited to go onto read the next chapter. Thanks for writing the story and sharing it with us.

alter-ed's powers are cool_very original. Your action sequences are exceptional. Your dialog continues to be outstanding.
I have a feeling that the fight between them-while you're building it up to be armegeddon_will be ended by something simple--like Al begging them to stop or getting inbetween them and neither of the ed's willing to take the risk of continuing fighting because they don't want to risk hurting al. That would be cool. it would be cool if he yelled out something like 'brothers' instead of brother. that would freak out alter-ed to be recognized finally. I was surprised Izumi left them to go look for what in monst cases would be a lie coming from envy's mouth. But i'd like to see a happy ending with izumi and wrath.

This was a really great chapter. You're a good story teller.

The creatures must first be rid of any Red Stones in them before they can be killed with any conventional weaponry._I had forgotten about that.

the time before that I was fighting them in an old opera house. But I doubt they would be hiding there now.”

“And what makes you think that?” Mustang said.

“Because I’d never try to hide in a building that was big enough to see from almost anywhere in the city,” Ed hotly replied. “And since the homunculus we’re hunting is suppose to basically be me, I think it stands to reason that he wouldn’t try to hide there either.”_All the more reason they would we hiding there-if he has ed's memories he would use the tactical advantage. if ed wouldn't do it-he should/would. i would think mustang or ed would see that



“Can you draw that transmutation circle here?” Armstrong asked.

Ed shook his head. “I don’t know if I can seeing as how we would have to try and trick Gluttony into it once I draw it, and then it’s a very complex array. It would take some time to draw.”_Why does he have to draw it. if he can clap on the ground and raise spikes and pikes_why can't he clap on the floor and raise an outline of a transmutation circle? Makes sense to me.


I thought alter-ed drawing mustang away was a distraction so that wrath and or envy could take away al and maybe izumi--because alter-ed wants al and wrath wants izumi. Ed's trying to make a deal with mustang made sense and was smart. he offered no body having to die-just leave me alone. Mustang couldn't see past his pride and his continous stating of 'soulless creature'...

This was an amazing chapter. the dialog. the action.. really well written.

The Wrath issue:

I think it was a smart idea. Especially if this is after he was supposedly killed or sent back into the gate. When Tucker tried to make a humunculus of Ed_Ed's original arm and leg were on Wrath_so calling forth a humunculus of Ed could have also released Wrath who has ed's arm and leg.

But a humunculus is made by bringing the dead back to life. Ed wasn't dead-so how did Tucker make a humunculus of Ed? And according to the anime/manga_the only way to kill a humunculus is to have some of the remains of the dead person who the humunculous is fashioned after_but Ed is not dead. So if he wasn't dead; how do you explain the making of the other ed?

The argument to keep the 'living' thing alive is looking pretty weak now-considering the consequences of keeping him alive. Wonder if you will address the guilt issue with al about that-he was the one begging to keep it alive. then he rejected it. then it turned into a killer. all because of al.

((“What about Al?” Ed asked, desperately staring at the ex-State Alchemist. “Did he help? Did he want to help bring me back?”

Tucker gave a derisive snort. “No. Him and that blasted colonel tried to stop me from completing the transmutation. They almost did, but I managed to do it anyway.” Tucker gave a toothy grin, his upside-down face lighting with triumphant glee. “And look at what I did. I created you. And you came out perfectly. I don’t understand why they can’t see what I was trying to do. If it’d been up to them I never would have been allowed to bring you back…”

Ed’s brilliant gold eyes suddenly seemed to fade, as if the light of some secret, lingering hope had been extinguished by the ex-State Alchemist’s reply.

“I see…” he whispered,))
_If this 'ed' was born with ed's memories, intelligence, experiences and emotions--he would be grateful his brother didn't want to bring him back as a soulless humonculous. The question for ed to ask would have been was his brother looking for him. did his brother want him. did his brother ask people about him. did his brother miss him. all of these would make ed happy. but ed would not be happy if his brother risked his own life (which ed had struggled for years to put him back in his body) to bring back a soulless copy. you have this 'ed' showing his emotions and recognition and memories of his brother in the hospital room. Now you write him as somebody who would want his brother to bring back a soulless copy. where's the reasoning there? The logic of the choice?

(“But what about Wrath?” Ed shot back, his own anger starting to boil up. “Envy got a hold of him and look what happened. He tried to kill you. And me! How can you say that won’t happen again with my Homunculus? Wrath was the Homunculus of your own child and he turned against us, so why couldn’t that happen again with mine?”)

-_The problem with this argument is that wrath had no memories-he was reborn a blank slate. easy to be shaped and formed by those around him. Ed's double has all of ed's memories and emotions and logic and intelligence. I believe all the sins were twisted and warped by Dante's desire to congtrol them for her own ends-to continue her immortal life. Who knows-if good people had fed and nurtured the sins-they may have been helpful and powerful additions to the military and the people.

interesting story. very dramatic. i thought al's quick change against ed's double was a bit much. begging for it's life and then the way al treated it in the hospital room with the whole 'you're not my brother' stuff. for al wanting it to live he couldn't have done anything worse to hurt it-because it has ed's memories and emotions. the one thing that would kill or drive ed insane would be al turning against him; rejecting him.

That was a awesome story! Great job!*Favs* :D

Wahaahahaha-a-a-a!! You made me cry! Sob! You are-sniff- and amazing- sniff- writer! A story hasn't been enough to make me cry in ages! You write so well! You know the characters so well! Sniff. I look forward the epilogue. I'm going to burst into tears in my pillow now.

OMGOGMOGMOGOGM OMG OMG ALHLKAFS:HAFDKLHJHKLADFKLH;;
oaky
this is awesome

OH MY GIZZLE THIS IS AMAZING
awgh
whyy did I find this awesome story the week of finals??
gr
now
im not gonna study.. :C

Beautiful!!Fantastic!Phenomenal!!Must-read fic!Thriller!

The FIRST fanfiction that I could not stop myself from reading. The emotions, the dialogues and the setting of everything and everyone is undescribable, it is so amazing!!

The story was so gripping!!There is no way of resisting!! I HIGHLY recommend this master piece of literature.

I look forward to the makings of your epilogue.God-Speed ^_^

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing.