Hmm, looks like things are gwtting a bit twisty here, and wonder how this'll change things now?

ranma is taking being a girl to easy what is kuno talking about

i hope you got a good explanation for all of this

Well, this story doesn't seem to be going anywhere and the premise for the story is very shaky... Unless you can actually make an actual plot for this story, it won't be going anywhere.

The premise is very shaky as I said, you should try to maybe rethink the idea of your story again. Is it about secrets, or just about a mentally screwed up version of the original characters?

You did do pretty well with the Kuno/Nabiki interaction and did provide some secrets, so to speak, it just doesn't seem to be enough to actually provide you with a story, unless this is more encompassing than it seems right now.

One last thing, your scene breaks are very distracting and interupts the feel of the story. I'd say just use a line instead, but definately not what you have right now.

Until theres more with actual story progression, can't say much more about this. Work on the foundation of the story and it'll probably go even better.

Very confusing a lot of the time. It would be great with more details about things. Right now it seems like you're rushing things, putting in a few glimpses of what happens, rather than show complete scenes. But the story can potentially be great. :)

NEXT!

Not too bad.

nice