Um, this is good!

Subaru in drag...?

Ah, what the heck. All of CLAMP's other male characters seem to be doing it nowadays.

I really like this drabble :D

It's a shame you can't make a longer fic out of it. ;_;

*cough* Why are you taking some one else's idea?

The ficlet itself sounds interesting- but wow, what's with the writing? Your entire first paragraph sounds like it's made of run-ons, and even if they were grammatically correct, they don't sound like it. It's like you're trying to stuff the entire character descriptions into a single sentence. If you're going to make something short and still sweet- which I know you can do, as I've read your other things- then I'm pretty sure you can't do that.

"The woman, twenty-two and a stunning model for an underground fashion magazine, was exceptionally proud of the intimate relationship she had gained with the enigmatic and boisterous yet sometimes sad Miss Sumeragi who was heiress to her family's fortune."

Read that over and tell me if it doesn't sound like you put too much information into one sentence.