It's a good story so far. But you state the obvious a lot and give names to characters that really don't need them.

We all know that a guy coming up behind someone with a rock will hit them in the head with it; you don't need to state that. And characters that aren't important to a story don't need to be named.

A couple of times you repeated similies, too. There's nothing wrong with them, they're very descriptive, but it looks really bad to keep reusing them. I'm pretty sure I saw that "blood flowed like a river" simile about three times...

Sorry if this sounds harsh. This isn't meant to be a flame in any way. I honestly like this story a lot. Continue soon~!

O_O this has inspired me to write my own YGO + Elfen Lied crossover... it will be similar to yours, but not the same...

This story is awesome and I've seen every epi. of Elfen Lied and Yugioh... awkward

anyway, thanks
Yamino Tenshi 202 (Yuki)

i love this story update soon

Such a beautiful update Tenshi

Ahh the way you create Yami's rampages, absolutely magnificent, the detail, the pure rage and emotion, I could feel as though I was there witnessing it, and loving every moment.

and if I didn't know better, I would swear that was my dear Angel of Darkness making her debut and a wonderful entrance it was I might add. Now if only Yami could see that he is not alone, as he seems to have an onee-sama lurking around watching over him *smiles softly*

This was the most fantastic chapter I have read yet Tenshi and know it will only get better from this point on.

Love *Slifer-sama

OMR Yami-chan, you updated!! *glomps*

I loved it *grins* Who doesn't love a rage enduced Yami?

I know you and I do *eyes flash sadistically*

I am really looking forward to the next chapter as always, and thanks for the dedication *huggles* That was just too cool of you, you know I would be lost without you.

Please update asap, I will be keeping a dragon eye out ^_~

Your best friend - Slifer-sama

Hey i really liked ur story plz continue on it. I really am looking forward in reading the next chaps ahead.

Gotta love Yami on a sugar high ^_^

This was so awesome! I love Yami on a rampage, it was so beautiful and majestic even. I know that sounds weird, but when you are a monarch, and you the center of attention for millions of fangirls, you just cannot help but drool over any and everything he does, am I right? or am I right? ^_^

I can't wait until you update agaain, I am really looking for ward to it. Thanks for the dedication, *glomps*

Wow, this is the best chap so far, Yami getting mad, and emotional, the drama, and it is so well written, I love it ^_^
hope you can update soon, and hopefully so will I ^_^
Awesome job Yami-chan

ok so all this is still in the past? i am slow, forgive me...great job though!! update soon...

awesomeness!

I really love this story! it is so creative, Yami is so cool, i love it!! keep going...

still loving the story, Yami's bad-ass attitude makes him so sexy! sorry, i will keep going...

How's it going? I told you I would check out your story, and guess what? I loved it!! i will keep reading...

Well i've never heard of Elfienlied. I just wanted to try it out, that may be stupid.

Hey.I like your story. I need to ask ya one thing. Can you be apart of my C2? Please.