I love the delicious little reparte between Tavington and Agnes. Exceptionally clever and rather charged with tension of a distinctly erotic nature. I do hope you haven't set this fiction aside forever, dear Folk. Not now, when I've only discovered it. Your writing has yet to disappoint me. I can honestly say, with no hesitation whatsoever, that you are my favorite author on this site.

I want MORE!*starts throwing a fit*

Ok, let's see...nice chpt...just TOO SHORT! So when will you get the next chapter up?
I'm sorry this is such a short review, but I have to go. I just didn't want this chpt to go unnoticed by...*drum roll*...MOI! LOL! JK!

I'll be going now.

MLBL

Hey, wonderful chpt! I really liked it. I really, REALLY liked it! oh, and Tavington...

Well gotta go...keep it up girl. Can't wait for the next chpt!

MLBL

Yey! Another chapter. Since you're out for the summer...don't make us wait so long for the next one! lol. Nicely done, and I was SO glad to see that she finally "met" Tavington.

"...My father taught my brother and I to read and write when we were fairly young. I have read all of his books on foreign wars."

One little grammar correction... My brother and ME.

"Agnes was tempted to ask, but to do so as an engaged woman would be a major breach of propriety. Instead, she suggested that they rejoin her betrothed and their parents and asked Stanley if she might be excused to go find the powder room. “Naturally,” he said, bowing and kissing her hand once again, light brown eyes lingering on her gray ones. She flushed the slightest bit, and, averting her gaze, excused herself to the Athertons and their daughters."

This paragraph is a bit “telling”. It will take a few extra words, of course (but you have no problem with that!! :) ) but show this instead. Show, through actual dialogue, that she asked to rejoin Stanley etc.

"...the one with the ice-cold eyes of green so pale they were like silvery glass. He was quite tall, with long brown hair pulled back into a queue, and his face literally looked carved, chiseled. Agnes was very tempted to run her fingers along his jaw to see if he was actually human."

GREAT description. :)

"His gaze reminded her strongly of the bitter winds that ravaged the countryside in the winter, and she shrank back against the railing involuntarily."

Ooh...wonderful choice of words. They sent a chill through me.

I've seen your story on here, and I probably took a look at it before. I have to be honest, though, and say that I probably didn't read more than a few lines in the first chapter after I saw the first-person format. I'm not a big fan of first-person stories because many times they don't turn out well. But I kept reading, and I like what I read. I'm so glad you decided to leave the first-person format behind in the second chapter, but judging from your writing inthe first chapter, I think you would have been okay even if you'd continued with first-person.

I think your story starts off really well. It's obvious that you put a lot of effort into it, and it makes for great reading. Your main character comes off as three-dimensional. She's got depth, even in these early chapters! I like how you delve into her thoughts, which I know isn't always the easiest thing to do with a character, at least not for me.

I noticed at the beginning of this chapter, you said that Tavington was irredeemable, so I'm looking forward to what you're going to do with him in your story.

Sorry to Trouble you about this but If I read your bio correct it said you gave constructive crits. If I could just trouble you to get some on my own Patriot Fan fic I would be more than happy to return the favor when you update here again.

I like the fact that your fic isn't just "Tavington walked here. Tavington walked there" well you get what I mean. You have a way of directing your character's actions without flat out stating them. I love how you've written the second chapter with the female character acting as one would in that time period, without making her seem like a mary sue. You seem to have done your research! Awesome. My only request is that you make longer chapters/ sections about Tavington's past, they are very intriguing [If I spelled that wrong I appologize.

I was so pleased to get the alert that this chapter was in. I like the background information in here about Agnes. And wow...what a jolting ending. :) I can see the effort you put into this. Very good descriptions. I felt like I was there. You better finish that history paper soon, and get to chapter 3. I am just dying to see her interaction with Tavington.

Good job. :) Keep it coming!

BWAH! It's me! Or at least it's my Patriot character as a kid! BWAH!

Delightful introduction to what promises to be a genuinely fantastic tale. While I am normally put off by anything Patriot-related, my desire to read anything and everything that you have ever written overwhelmed my hesitation. Boy am I glad I read this. Your words are hypnotic and the way you weave a tale is like honey for the brain. I cannot say enough in praise of you, dear Folk. Please do keep up the incredible work. I shall avidly peruse everything you post. I have a feeling you could make any fanfiction tale look good. ;)

I have never been so intrigued by such a short opening chapter! Even in the short bit you've given us, the writing was really nice. I'm looking forward to future instalments of this, and finding out the back story that you hint at here.

WHO has an aversion to first person? Ack! It's my favorite. (grin) Ok, whatever. I've always been an odd one. But wow. Great start. Very short, but I don't see it being any longer. Almost made me cry, since I already see where you're going with this. Well, it's obvious, the grave etc. But good job. Hope to see more soon. Except for the obvious fact that you've killed dear Tavy, I cannot find anything wrong with this first chapter.