oh... T_T that was sad. oh, and i always thought that susan was ten when her mother died, buti could be wrong, and even if i wasn't, it works better in your story that she's not. great story, keep it up.

H.K.

So beautiful!

Ouch. *Sob* That must have been hard to write.Very well done. Keep writing.

that is so sad! very realistic writing from a child's point of view

Very well written, and tear Jerking, I almost cried while reading this. The only error I could find was that Susan was not at hom when her mother took her own life. Remember in the series Susan explains that her mother sent her next door to play with the neighbor's child and told her that she would come for her later, but never does, and her father comes for her and tells her her mother is gone.

Interesting exercise. Wish it had a conclusion.

chilling. scary. really good.

That was distrubing, but very good.

This was sad...I like it!

That was very disturbing. Very.

Okay that was so good. You forgot the part about Ivanova being shipped off to a friend or aunts house while her mother committed suicide and not finding out intill her father came home, but it doesn't matter. This Was Great. And by the way, it didn't matter about the age. If you ever watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy (who is like 20) acted just like Susan. Except for the hole crawling into her mother's arms part.

*stares* Dark, definately. Wonderfully done though, it is slightly off story line, but it IS fan fiction and I a/u fan fiction enough anyway -_-;;; but WOW. Desterbingly beautiful. It was written wonderfully, just enough flow, and just enough denial... perfect mind set for Susan as a five year old to...but haunting none the less. This is one of those stories were I'll still accully remember a while from now.