i love audrey/jack stories make more plz!

No, not trite at all. I feel you really got a good hold of Jack. There seems to be a little too much summarizing of the situations on hand, but other than that this is good writing.

that was a nice spin on that episode =] good work!

I agree with you. There are not enough Jack/Audrey stories out there! Thanks for this!

Hey! I've literally only just finished watching the 12am to 1am episode, because we are much further you guys here, and I have to say your FanFic certainly fitted into the plot really well, I only started watching 24 at the start of Season 5 so I missed any Jack/Audrey bits, so this had made up for it.
Phia

Beautiful. Really beautiful!

golly gee willikers! i sure do love it!
and i agree, there's not enough jack/audrey fanfics out there.

This is so perfect!!

Jack and Audrey are meant to be.

You make Jack and Audrey sound so right together. You even managed to get me to like Audrey a little. Can't wait for your other work.

nice piece! each week I'm becoming more and more and audrey/jack lover!
thanks for posting this!

That is really really good! I love how you kind of elaborated what they actually showed on that episode. Very realistic... and touching :)

I love it. I think if you can think of more to do with this story you should continue it. I also can't wait to read your next one. I was wondering if you would please put on your list to get updates on your stories on your site? Thanks.

Brandy

very sweet at the end

Well done. I like the prose format so much better than your screenplay format. (Sorry, I get the sense that you prefer to write screenplays, but I simply cannot force myself to read them!) I think this chapter begs for a second. What happens after the day ends? Can Jack and Audrey make it together? I'd love to read more.

LOVE IT but you already know that!