run spellchecker... uncomfterable should be uncomfortable, but otherwise ok so far

First thing's first: stop rushing things! You give the readers only a second before jumping ahead to the next big incident that we never get any time to get used to the last event! Take your time, don't rush.

Please check over your writing. There are miscellaneous words here and there that are Capitalised. It can get quite annoying. Yet there are some names that aren't capitalised. Maybe you could find a beta; sometimes betas see things that the writer can't, just because it's their own writing.

The characters must be true to their character. And don't be afraid to insert some conflict between characters.

This story has a good plotline, and it has a lot of potential. I certainly hope you continue.

love love love it. : ]

Hehe, I love your fic!!

Booth and Brennan are both really out of character. Brennan wouldn't react like that to a threat - she would brush it off as nothing. Look at the episode "Two Bodies in the Lab," she argued and was generally very difficult when Booth tried to protect her. Booth is sarcastic and constantly making pop culture references that Tempe can't understand. Granted he seems very caring and involved, I highly doubt that either of them would jump into a relationship as fast as they have in your fic. Slow down, add detail.

~Rosie

In the spirit of constructive criticism, I have a few suggestions. Don't move so fast! I had this problem with a fic I wrote a few years ago. I had this great idea in my head. I wrote it down, posted it, and by chapter 11-12 I was out of ideas. I had put everything into the story in the first 11 chapters and the story was supposed to be at least 30 chapters long! Number two. Have someone grammer or spell check your work. The computer doesn't always catch everything like capitalization problems. I can help with that if you want, just let me know.

To help you out alittle, sometimes flashbcks work well into a story. It gives you a chance to recollect you thoughs and which direction the story is going in and also helps you to build characters and explain certain things not seen by the reader early on. I find it's effective when you have writer's block.

Good luck!!

you are so not sorry aout the cliffy... you love to torture us! lol jk. okay so ill be watching for another post!

it's good please continue soon

this is so good please write more

im lovin this so far! try for more BB moments though...

ohh make it something about her parents...like someone thinks they've found them dead but in the end they're not and bones still has no idea where they are.

P.S. lot's of fluff please i luv that stuff.

hmm... intriguing. more please! -ash

Hey this is soo cool. I love it... I can't wait until you update =D

Ohh, this looks good. I like it so far. Keep it up!
Steph

" OMG."

Out of respect for the literary context in which it appears, can you at least spell it out? Please? I hate when "Net-speak" is used as if it is actual spoken word.

Other than that, I like the story and I have no other issues about the writing itself. I can't wait for an update... and an edit. I can't wait to see who is standing at the door.

pagan-seijou