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| fantasycrazyperson409 2006-09-25 ch 12,  | abuseI love this story it is so good update fast. |
| InChrist-Billios 2006-09-22 ch 12, | abuseOh! I was specailly mentioned! *happy dance* Another excellent addition! Great work! Minor correction: you said "it's" a lot instead of "its". "its" is the possesive form of it. I like the new character -- update SOON! |
| InChrist-Billios 2006-09-15 ch 11, | abuseI'm so glad you updated again! Both chapters are well written and really moving the story forward, EXCELLENT! Can't wait to see MORE action! *on edge of seat* You're doing fabulously! UPDATE SOON! |
| storiewriter 2006-09-13 ch 9, | abuseNice! though short, good description. That reminds me- gotta update fast! |
| InChrist-Billios 2006-09-12 ch 9, | abuseYAYAYAYAYAY! That was fast! THANK YOU! A great chapter! UPDATE SOON! |
| InChrist-Billios 2006-09-09 ch 8, | abuseYAY! I was beginning to think you weren't ever going to update... ;p Great chapter, moving the plot forward. Kind of a filler chapter, but we need those, good work! Minor Corrections: wrapped, not rapped (1st paragraph) cauldron, not caldron (19th paragraph) warrior, not worrier (8th paragraph from the bottom) You did wonderfully; can't WAIT for another update!! |
| Redwallfreak108 2006-07-27 ch 7, | abuseThis is good! I wonder what's going to happen next... well update soon! |
| fantasycrazyperson409 2006-07-27 ch 7, | abuseI love this story update fast fast fast please :) |
| InChrist-Billios 2006-07-21 ch 6, | abuseVery good! hares, not hairs (7th paragraph) This was very well done, and I think your effort was well rewarded. Great job portraying Vervain. MORE SOON! |
| InChrist-Billios 2006-07-18 ch 5, | abuseYAY! So happy to hear from you again!! This chapter was GREAT! The fight seemed perfect; just the way kids WOULD fight. Vincent doesn't sound too dibbun-ish, it was great! I never even CONSIDERED him being too dibbun-ish until you mentioned it! ;D Minor Corrections: Abbey, not Abby (2nd paragraph) You're, not Your (4th paragraph) to wake, not awake (19th paragraph) ache, not ach (27th from the bottom) seem, not seam (20th from the bottom) "its listeners" and "its center", not "it's listeners" and "it's center" (16th from the bottom) um, did you mean "warrior" not "worrier"? (16th from the bottom) fur, not fir (15th from the bottom) This was really good; the cliffie ending was well done, too! |
| fantasycrazyperson409 2006-07-12 ch 6, | abuseI love your story and about Death Swift I think that you might want to look in the Redwall books at other evil villains but otherwise I think you are doing just fine. |
| fantasycrazyperson409 2006-07-12 ch 5, | abuseNo I don't think Vincent sounded to dibun-ish in this chapter I think that he sounded just fine. I love your story. |
| fantasycrazyperson409 2006-07-11 ch 4, | abuseI love your story update quickly, and no I don't think you should name the chapters that just seems excessive. |
| InChrist-Billios 2006-05-26 ch 4, | abuseVery good! Minor corrections: porridge, not porage poured, not pored hares, not hairs The log-a-log Naldir was very practical, very good chapter! I can't wait to see what you're going to do next! |
| InChrist-Billios 2006-05-26 ch 3, | abuseWow! It just gets better and better! Minor corrections: fur, not fir quickly, not quick (you're using it as an adverb) "hoping that his friend caught in one of them" did you mean "was caught"? Martin, not Marten revealed, not reveled lying, not laying "ain't to happy" it's too, not to "too bad" it's badly, not bad (those pesky adverbs again!) I'm not trying to criticize you too much, those are all little things that will help make the story easier to read. Please don't take this the wrong way! I LOVE this chapter; it's a unique event that introduces your two other characters nicely. GOOD JOB!! |