This is better than your origional. I admire you overhauling like this; I'm too lazy to do it to mine:) Hey, don't worry so much about cheesyness! Every story has some plot hole or something; and I love cheesy! I watch Superfriends on TV just so I can giggle at the cheesy plots. Watch that once and you'll never worry about being too cheesy again. :D

this is a good story but whats the deal with falco krystal could you maybe clear that up for me i dont really understand exactly what happened between them