I had trouble following this, it was way too OC...

Also, if it wasn't all just one sentence per paragraph...that might have made it better...

I wasn't expecting that, great job!

Envy kills again!

Okay how did the military capture envy, wrath, and greed.

Envy!

Envy first!

Eh, do Envy first. He's a cooler character. And I don't mean fanboyism go Envy!, I mean that his past and personality are just better than Eds.

o.0 man i didn't see that one coming. pleeze update
~Jina~

*wants to see how Sorrow's plan will turn out... BAD* Write more! It's still really good!

I'm back. This time about Wrath. Mommy? Where is Sloth? Sloth is Wrath's mommy. And a shock choaker? Envy cold get out of it easly. He could turn into a mouse and get out of it. I'm sorry but this story portrays these Homunculi as weaklings. Your characters would be dead in seconds of meeting them. I'm sure you're doing your best. But for hard core FMA fans to truely injoy this, I sugjest you rewrite this story when you finish. I'm sorry I must sound like a big fat jerk saying this. It is best to include many other characters, you have far to many OC's. I'm sorry if I make you feel badly D:.

Sorry about the first review. Any way, Greed is horribly OOC. He never would be frightened, because he is the "Ultimate Sheild." He can witstand a great deal of damage, and Ed is realy the only person who managed to get through it. Not even Dante new how to break through it, and she created him. He has nothing and almost no one to fear, realy. And I'm not a huge fan of GreedxOC because, well, he tends to be OOC. And he is OOC. Please, WE NEED GREED TO ACT LIKE GREED! And Envy is a man, but he can become a woman. Thank you.

Ashley

Envy is a man. A MAN! GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD! And I don't like how you make Greed so helpless.

Cool, I hope Sang's ok. Please update soon please.

nice

Maybe this sounds mean but... There are to many OC's in this fic. It wouldn't be so bad if they had their own personalities. But Amaya seems to look a lot like Envy. And I think you based Sorrow out of Wrath a bit. And then there's Mercy for Greed (pairing, not looking like each other)

Sorry... Really, I know you did your best on this but... I don't like the story. Gomenasai.

Hmm. I was at least expecting Greed to get jacked in the face again. Wait... then Izumi would break her hand... again.