You had a very good premise for the story, one which I really enjoyed. However, it was ruined by your haste to finish it. Do not get me wrong it was a good story but it would have been better if you had developed ideas more and build up the alternate world and characters and given explanations for the canon characters. If you ever get time I believe it would be worth fleshing out the story more and re-submitting because it really is a good idea.

On a side note if you do re-write it, please do not use Voldemort A and Voldemort B as it gives the story an unprofessional feel. Seperate the two using different methods such as giving one a different title ie Voldemort A is referred to as Voldemort and Volemort B is called the Dark Lord or Tom when they're together or you can use specifics such as the Voldemrot this this universe...

Bloody Hell. Please continue to write such fantastic Stories!

Well done but it should be about 10 times longer. More detail would really help and make it more realistic. With out that it seems like a Mary Sue Harry Potter story. I did like the way you killed off Voldemort B though.

I love this! Luna is very frank! :)

it was good...although it would hav been better if i dunno there was more detail. it just seemed so rushed and slightly unrealistic.

Great Story I loved it. Do you have anymore? If you do e-mail me the name of the story's.