See, I was lucky. I found this gem in the Sue bashing C2 and knew from the beginning it was a parody and didn't go through the 'Do I risk angering her and try to point out these horribly awful errors in an attempt to make her a better writer, or just quietly hit the back button' and was able to simply try to keep from howling out loud. I pity you. You must've had to read several Sues to get this. Great.

you need to work on your spelling errors. but over all chapter one was ok.

OMG! This fic WINS at life! I love you! XD

Tornintopeices took it srsly!!1...lol.

You win at life! SO PWNED!

This parody is just brilliant... you've even been featured on Deleterius, you rock at Suethor-ness so much!

(PS the general state of affairs here is so bad people actually don't get the joke; that's even funnier!)

Thanks for sharing. *grins*

"3 hrs and much NC-17 later"

You are so my hero.

"She had eyes of porest opal, a full mouth with lips."

OMG, you win at life!

I think you'd like my story "You had to be there." It's not as good as yours, but a similar idea.

Good story, though how you can call something barely over 10 word long a novel I don't know.
Couple of points to make.
1. Your spelling; It is deplorable, please please get a spellchecker. Or a Beta reader, if you have one I suggest firing them because they let through so many errors. Spelling improved with later chapters
2. Your tense; You flicked from one to another. And I quote from your own work
'I needed to be strong because of my great beauty. SHE had eyes of PUREST opal, a full mouth with lips. HER hair was knee length and golden. SHE was so thin you see her BONES, but I was curvy in all the RIGHT places. One day I woke up and I didn’t RECOGNISE WHERE I was. I was still in my short nightgown from the NIGHT before, but I was sleeping on the ground. Suddenly, I heard a horse galloping., coming closer, and CLOSER to where I was. Suddenly I thought a dream HAD ridden into the clearing. He WAS TALL, MUSCULAR, and BLOND. Since it was early in the morning, he wasn’t wearing a SHIRT, and I could see his well-defined torso. He gasped, “Who-who are you?”: he said looking down at her legs. SHE SHIVERED. He looked up. He bowed. “forgive me my discourtesy, O lady of the woods. I am Peter, the High King of Narnia. I shall take you back to my castle where you will RECEIVE shelter and clothing.'

You flick between 1st and 3rd and it is confusing. All capitalised bits are tense errors and other than that all capitalised words are spelling errors that have been corrected and capitalised. For the description you appear to be comparing two people 'She was so thin you could see her bones, but I was curvy in all the right places'.

Other than those things This is a decent story though it is one of those very neat and tidy ones. Fics where every poison has an antedote, every sickness a cure and so on and so forth. You also appear to have kind of forgotten the fact that Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy came from the second world war time so they wouldn't have been that old fashioned. But for one of the 'in-a-box' fics this is pretty decent.

Then she ran ino someone and fainted. it was tumnus and he carefully caried her whershe be safe. He was so swert to me and i wishe i met im before i chose peter cause whaat if i got preggers and had a baby faun?

ROFLMAO that part just killed me! LMAO!

Great job! Whenever you write a Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings parody PLEASE let us know!

This was great. Wonderful ending. Hilarious! And Serenity Shelia Whatever finally got what she deserved.

LOL this was freaking hilarious.

rotfl! A "Suethor" indeed! You may have just coined a new word! I did like the shift in this chapter- it was rather like Serenity Sophie whatchamacaller's terrible spell had been broken, and spellcheck had returned to the peaceful land of Narnia.

I've enjoyed this so much- you've made me laugh, and for a while that was something I was very much in need of! Thank you for a really, REALLY great spoof!

ehehehehe- I love! Such a wicked sense of humor you have

"HAWT"?? HAHAHAHAHAHA. "... twiled her ariond"?? Oh my God, that was classically funny.
Ah, Aslan's coming. I know it. =P

Hell, I don't care who's Serenity Shellia Sophie Mosely says yes to.
*giggles*
Amusing. Very difficult to read but understandable.
LOL.
*snorts*

The "writing" was so awful that I giggled several times, but I think that was your goal. ;)