ohh my o.o i see them as best buddies nothing more x.x

if it twas just a friend fic i love, soo i just 'like it'

TA

Lol so awesome and weird. I love it.

I liked it! it was good..it's not a place but the person that you're with..good story!

You did a good job with the dialogue, but I could find little problems here and there, throughout.

For one, you got confused with your present and past tense a fair bit, and used periods where you should have used question marks at least twice. As well as that, the whole thing's a bit too rushed, like Rafiki just appearing out of nowhere, then disappearing. A little more description would be nice, too. And... You also kinda gave me the impression that Timon was attracted to Pumbaa. Sexually. But I'm sure you didn't mean that, did you?

Well, it's a good effort for a first-timer, but you could do with a little practice.

I was also wondering if you were planning to continue this fanfiction, or if it's just a one-shot. I think it's better as it is, but whether you write some more or not is really up to you.

-Ochi