Not cheesy at all, hon. I liked it very much.

Hey Steve, interesting that you did a followup chapter on this one. I didn't know if you were done with this or what but I like what you did with it. I find it a little difficult to imagine Shinji as a full grown man, and with the longer hair you gave him. I like the fact that you gave them a dog. That was interesting. And the "idiot" comment was coming. Keep it up.

lol That was pretty funny. I liked it too. Gonna go anywhere else with it? I certainly hope so.

Like the twist in the first chapter. The second chapter was a little cliched but it still worked.

Would have liked to see how they hooked up.
This was nice.
Normally a dog goes to the provider.
Keep it up.

Nice job. So you DID write a conclusion for us. ^_^ Don't wory about other chapters in between the first and this one. I think it worked out better this way. We can come up with our own ideas for what took place in between the two time periods. Excellent work.

Dude, I loved your story. I really wish that you'd write some chapters in between the two that you have now. It'll make a really great story.

Perfect way for them to be together. Jack was cool too. lol Can't wait to read more for ya. Keep it up. Frost out.

is that gonna be the end you know the only story i don't review for you is the guilty gear one but thats because i never even heard of it lol anyway but the looks of it i'd say you're doing good do you plan to write professionally?

great story hope there's more chapters

damn you! you shouldn't have stoped

Aw- I usually dont review oneshots... but i just reallyl iked this one... I cant wait to read future stories of yours :-D!

HA! Caught a mistake! Here it is. Don't ask why I was rereading this...

After hesitating for a few seconds, the girl rand, and caught up with him. (Definitely supposed to be RAN)

Hey good job. This would be an excellent story to make longer. Playing on how the two end up hooking up and so on. Well good job. Keep up the good work.

"clicks tongue experimentily"

It was a twister. Not the most articulate story I've ever read but you executed it well.