Lari...you never cease to amaze me with your writing talents, if i had any sort of talant like you i'd be like...writing constantly...:P

I applaud you as usual, i love the whole confusion of love interests you can't be sure of who likes who or even what people are like because there was so many different sides and persceptives!

Lovoo lady, never stop being amazing

X

I am getting really confused with all these names here. I really think you should have kept the last names the same, it makes it a whole ton easier to understand.

WHo's Cashlyn? I'm guessing she's the girl with your name? Why did she want Kori to go home with Xavier?

-Alien

I really felt I could connect to the characters even though I have never watched/read what the fic was based on! So yay for that! I really want them to get together now! Which i assume is the point of the story, or at least this chapter. I found the chapter engaging, and I felt like I wanted to read on.

The only bit I felt was not as strong as the rest was the section where Kori first comes in, perhaps it is a little confusing; the short descriptions feel very different to the original descriptive tone of the earlier writing.

I will definately read more of this story,its well written and looks interesting! :)

Ooh! I actually feel more like a reader than an editor! I love this story, even though I'm not much of a fan of StarRedX pairings.

The beginning scenery description was a bit slow, and it was hard to understand what you were describing, because you started in the sky then moved to the sheets. O.o ...

But other than that, I loved it! You've done a very good job at making the period your friend (my NUMBER ONE rule!) and you keep your scentences short and to the point.

Work on your comas, though. Usually a coma is used before or after a name or pet name. Like so:

"I apologise, babe." or "Kori, why don't you sit down?"

But you did a good job on that any-who, I just wanted to point it out.

I probably won't review later chapters unless i want to point something out or make a comment.

Also, would you mind reviewing/going over my story 'The Rising?' It would be a big help, because not many people are reviewing the story. Thanks a bunch!

-Alien

Did he just blow up the city?
What the heck?
omg I can't believe Richard hit her and she didn't kick his butt!
great chapter
update soon please [:

Jeez woman!

When you come back, you come back with a bang!

I'm so glad you updated!! And i'm sure your readers will feel this chapter is defenitly worth the wait.

I'm very jealous.

You me and Carly defenitly need a long msn chat. I'm sorry i've been so bad at keeping in touch.

Till next chapter! x

YOU MUST UPDATE!
YOU MUST! MUSTMUSTMUSTMUSTMUST!

A very amazing story! You are a FABULOUS writer!

Love,
Rose.

Great job. I still love this story. I found it today, and I was soo happy I did again!

mehh cliffie!
Evil Evil lady.

But not so evil seeing as you updated! Oh the happiness!

I wonder who that could be with Xavier... **..
And I wonder where Richard is, probably sexing some **. psh idiot.

well done once again.
I like Lari very likeable character and Joshua is very droolable. yummay..

Ouch! People deal with grief in the worse ways! Why oh why didn't she use the hand dryer!?

I loved the chapter!

lol Hm Abit of scarily big man action for Larissa is it :P lol V nice.

Lol I apologise for my writers block! Believe me no one resents it more than i do!! *tear*

Anywho! Update soon! Mommi demands it! :D

Love you

X

so she's not dead! :DD
but who was Xavier fooling around with? hm...
great chapter!
update soon please

Larissa's ALIVE!!
That's good
Loved this chapter, as per usual
And the end!
Dun dun dun
Update soon!
xx

Hey. Great again. The ending, oh my god! You evil evil person! Lol. As Lauren gets to poke you to make you write more, can I :) Hehe, luv ya Aunty. x

:) Heehee Murphy's Law!! Love it. More superb writing. I'm rooting for you to become famous. Luv your work as always. x

Loved that chapter, loved all of your chapters in all of your stories and your poems. Loved the dare part, 'For The Love Of Satan!' Hehee that was funny. Keep going. x