Nice! Who would think Lucretia will be that courageous...but, that' sjust tactic, right? I mean...I read a rumor about she is a HE and become Hugo's father...oh, I wish at the Suikoden even NPC could bath. All of the 108 stars!

Not the best story I come across, the humour isn't quite as sharp as you intended it to be.

haha! Such a funny story! Don't listen to the others, anyone who is important with be contested. Like art, if you make meaningless crap like pictures of lighthouses in the sea... oh, everyone will think it is okay. It's harmless. But realize, the things that really cause people to speak out... in a positive voice, or with harsh criticism, are the only pieces of value. So regardless of what a few people squeak out, you can be confidant that your writing is indeed enjoyable and also, quite good at what we read fanfiction for... snippets of the characters lives. You did an excellent job. And shame on the naysayers.

er haha? Your story taught me a lesson, next time if I want to read a story, don't read one that wastes your life. You should be honest about this shameful quality you produced.

lol

Boz and Egbert never disappoint.

I'm glad that there's always a place for me to go if I need a good giggle. _

Wow Orithia that was impressive, just as impressive as this story is 'sexy and your mr toasty OMG!etc. Yeah real productive there, all kindness and nothing constructive you sure know how to write.

You know, I've seen you around the fanfiction community for years. Every time I click on a story of yours, maybe read a few paragraphs here and there, I think, "Wow, that Al Kristopher! I hope he never writes anything of merit or value!"

You've yet to disappoint! This little gem barely squeaked by the dictionary's definition of "story," being that it was comprised of words and had a beginning, middle, and end. Coherency? A thing of the past! A plot? Unnecessary! You've somehow managed to pound out sentences until they coalesced into a nearly 30-word timesink-an accomplishment that could make even the best writers of our time positively green in the eye!

Why, I'm so impressed with this veritable paragon of literary genius that I can't even offer any constructive criticism! You've reached the top of your game, Al-the apex of your compositional capacity. Surely, society cannot help but usher in a new age of artistic edification and enlightenment on a global scale. Hundreds of years from now, when historians look back upon this revolution in human thinking, they will notice that this piece-this magnum opus, wrought clean from a generous mixture of both pure brilliance and intellectual delight-was the nexus.

On a more serious note: Al, darling, when you make a promise to stop writing fanfiction, will you keep it next time? Lies hurt everyone.

ugh, Wild? Absurd would be a good start for this title.

I see no talent in writing up random material where CAPS are to somewhat indicate shouting, perhaps if it was used rarely but almost every paragraph makes it look horrid.

RAMBIFICOURIONOUS MELIFINICIOUS PUSSBORGING DWIXILDACKS

I'm not going to ask what's funny about it, there is nothing witty in the dialouge or a clever arranged climax like most good humour stories have, its just one random part to another with random bits of SHOUTING appering inexpicably. In which case you must be asking why did i bother reading the whole story. answer: I didn't, I stopped half way down before giving up this is just a five minute rushed effort and it shows.

that was hilarious

Dude, don't listen to that last commentator, seemed like flames to me. Anyway, I'm glad to finally see a Lelei and Lucretia fic up,

even if it's somewhat...farcical (Is that the right word?)and it took more talent than that person gave you credit for.

Hopefully when summer rolls around I'll find a little time to write one of my own, or something like that. Hopefully it won't turn out

like the horrible Noir poem I wrote.

Once again I notice idiots with nothing productive to say (and who wouldn't be able to write a decent piece if their lives depended on it) are never registered.

Flamers put aside, I really liked your story, it's sexy and tasteful at the same time :).

And I just realized you are Mr.Toasty from :o! Mr. Toasty is Al Kristopher! Al Kristopher is Mr. Toasty! Le gasp :O!

“That was the worst cop-out ever!”

I couldn't had put it better myself, was this even a story? I'll be amazed if this site dosen't get rid of this story as well. If you want to waste people's time then do it a bit better then this so called attempt here at humour or whatever its supposed to be.