Please update this, It's the only Prince/Lun story out there and I really want to see where it goes.

you know this is a really good concept for a story and it's a shame that your"e putting this story on hold. This could have been a great story

Great story, please update soon

nice. lun and logg always cracked me up. though I did prefer subala over lun...just a little. ^-^

Interesting so far. Looking forward to more.

Little Faroush bloodies his hands neh? BTW is this going to become a Lun X Faroush pair? if it is well... I'd like to see how you'll write it out. hope you'll update soon. ^_^

^_^
Well sorry but no critiscism ^^ I simply think that it is your best story thus far.
And I REALLY like it ^_^
You rule ^^

I'm really liking the story. I always really liked Lun for some reason and I hope to see if she plays a more important role in the prince's life. Looking forward to the next chapter.

When you mentioned it on the forum, I didn't realize that you'd already started writing the story. :)

First of all, I love the concept. Prince/Lun (I see you've adopted the tentatively official name; can't say I like the name too much, but it fits) is a great couple, and I was thinking about that quite a bit during the game. The fact that you're also rewriting the story to put them closer together is appealing; I enjoy the fact that you're not wasting your time with peripheral stuff, opting to dive into the heat of the story instead. I hope you keep this kind of pace up in latter chapters.

One concern I have about the prose is that your paragraph breaks do not always feel natural to me. At times, I feel as though there's too much different stuff in the same paragraph; several people's emotions, etc. This also ties into the fact that you're adopting an "omniscient" third-person perspective, which I find uncomfortable (but nonetheless I'd say it's a valid choice, although a bit uncomfortable.)

It's very cute that you're starting the story when they're both kids. Personally it helps me develop more affection for them. All of the direct interactions between Lun and Faroush are entertaining, and I'm looking forward to more. :)

I really really like this story! You do a great job with the character's personalities, they're spot on. Just wanted to say I really like your Ferid, as I liked the father son relationship between the two in the game. I know he didn't really do anything in the fic, but all the same, I liked reading it.
I'm just about done with the game, one more battle, but I just couldn't wait to read the fanfics.
It's a great idea and I really like it. Great work.

That was god!! I liked how you made the prince finally be able to fight and how he reacted when Lun go injured. Oh and Logg's story from the war was really good too. XD especially the explanation about the scars and him using an anchor as a weapon. Its really cool that you're giving the prince the Dadao instead of the given weapon. XD what im interested in is if Faroush and Lun will still be able to keep contact with each other. I hope so!

haha great beginning XD adn you have lun down pack i cant wait to see how this plays out please continue when ever you can because trust me its worth the way^^b

Err.. it's the Queendom of Falena, not Kingdom, remember? Other than that and a few minor spelling mistakes here and there, though, I think you're off to a pretty good start. Heck, I'm just happy to see people writing Suikoden 5 fic at all. :)

Somehow, I don't think that the fans of your Naruto stories are going to flock to this, but it's alright with me, because I love the suikoden series. I am glad that it seems that writing non-traditional pairings carries over to other genres for you as well. Anyways, if I can remember to, I will try to keep up with this, good luck, although I still think you are starting too many new stories.

i'd like to know more to what will happen to the lil' prince Faroush. pls. update. oh and have fun beatin the game. the game's nice and not a waste of money, ^_^