Gwah...
...
Good grief... I wanted to finish reading this fic before I went to bed, BUT YOU KILLED OFF SAIN.
I kinda want to cry.
...
Are you going to continue this story? 'Cause while I KNOW the next chapters will be heartbreaking, I really want to see how this story ends.

Sain has the worst luck.

Imagine, you're basically having a great shot at winning and getting out relatively unscathed and all of a sudden you get struck by an arrow, from your ally nonetheless.

One word to describe that. Ouch.

Anyways, great story, great characters, really makes the story seem vivid. Keep it up.

This story is amazing. ;-;

Wow. Just found this story, and I have to say, it is one of the best FE stories I've read, for various reasons. I did see your note in 'Bouquet' that said you may not continue this, so I won't hold that against you. I just wanted to express my appreciation for your writing regardless. It is so refreshing to find such excellently written fiction about simple friendship. You obviously put a huge amount of effort into each chapter, judging from the character interactions and the description of the culture in each country. Research is good ^_^. I also love the cameos from all the different characters. At this point, I'm kinda wondering if it could be Guy who accidentally shot Sain (it could fit, maybe...).

I'll keep an eye on this if there ever is another update. In the meanwhile, I take a look at your other stories. Thanks!

I will always love this story, no matter where it goes. Your writing style is too beautiful!!

I've been catching up on some fics recently, and yours was the one I read today.

Looks great, I gotta say. The story line, grim as looked in the first couple chapters, is really believable. Your descriptions of the cities seemed to fit my impressions, and the landscape works just as well. Although it may be unlikely, I like how the group meets a lot of the characters from the game - I much prefer your method to a host of OCs. Your combat scenarios are exciting; the part where you describe Lyn's fighting style was great. Instead of just saying 'she was sore,' you gave a reason. The plot is moving along fine, and I also enjoyed the chapter in the manor where all the different characters interacted. The "Perfect Support" section was my favorite - very fitting. The part where Lyn told Sain the story (very nice by the way) was excellent. You showed Sain's 'true' character while keeping him in character. It's too bad he got shot... Man, I really hope he doesn't die... Well, it's been a great fic so far, and it shows no sign of changing.

I look foward to more.

~Wii Master

You have a really good story here, it's very original.
I really like this story, but please don't kill Sain, it would be very sad.

You have truly amazed me in the way you have written this story. All emotions are captured well, and portrayed to your readers in a very understandable way. Descriptions are top notch and I am really a fan of your writing style. It has been an interesting trip reading through this, and I loved every bit of it.

My only hope is that Sain doesn't die. Though, I have to say that it is quite possible that it was foreshadowed through that story, though, Biyan seemed to have more of a temper than Sain.

I thank you for writing this story, and I look forward to seeing the next chapter. Good luck.

~JSB

PS. All mistakes I had noticed have been mentioned already, so I won't waste your time.

I like how Lyn sympathizes with Kent, recognizing all that he had to give up in order to stay by her side. Good work on Kent's dialogue.

So that is how the legion is reduced to so few. It makes sense for them to split up, but it's hard for those few remaining together. I wonder if they will meet the rest of their party later.

Poor Lyn. I have to admire her even as I feel for her. She's trying her best to be brave, but there's only so much she can do.

Canvassed? Odd word choice.

I like the details you include. From the crackle of the fire and the hooting of the owls, to the twinge in her back and the soreness in her thighs.

I wonder, with Lord Hausen's death is Lundren really the accepted successor? Lundren is still hunting Lyn, implicitly admitting that Lyn has a stronger claim than he. Is the major obstacle to Lyn's succession that she wasn't recognized by her grandfather before he died? If that is so, can't it be put to right if Lyn finds some way of proving her lineage?

It sounds like you know what you're talking about when you describe the lay of the land and the characteristics of Pherae. Good bit of dialogue with Wil and Lyn, hinting at Wil's past and showing that Lyn thinks more about the needs of the people who follow her than for her own needs.

The heck! That doesn't sound like something Marcus or Elbert would do. I'm guessing there is more to this than what it seems, perhaps a rescue in the guise of capture. At least I hope so. The scene where Lyn cries out to Florina and holds her when Florina runs to her in tears is a powerful one.

Another good chapter. I have some questions about the plot, but have no complaints about the writing or the story. Characterization feels well done; I especially like the scenes with Lyn and Florina in this chapter. Description and detail are excellent.

Nice, right away I'm sucked in by "That's why the mercenary leader had the tactician killed first.

Woo go Sain! That sounds so like him, brave and gallant and just a little silly.

Good description of the battle; fast, intense, desperate. "Be the wind" interweaving with slashing swords and tearing wounds, short breaths, adrenaline, and silent screams. The blood lust borne of Lyn's fury and desperation feel real, as does her wondering whether she wants to be the "wind of destruction and disaster."

"I don't know what to do." Stark, simple, and real. Their tactician dead, everyone wounded, stranded in unsafe lands. That's a very human thing to feel in such a situation.

I don't have a problem with the tactician's death, personally. I've never been attached to the tactician as a character in fics, but besides that his death makes the situation more desperate, forces more responsibility on Lyn.

Overall: Great start to a story that I've never seen elsewhere. I think this is the first story I've seen that focuses exclusively on Lyn's chapters, and I'm looking forward to reading the rest. Your writing is fast and attention grabbing, infusing the battle scene with intensity and desperation. Your characterization of Kent, Sain, Florina so far rings true, and I especially like your Lyn. She fights in order to protect, remembering as she fights the training she's been given and the people she must not let down. But she feels hate and darkness and fury too. And as much as she wants to be strong for the people who are counting on her, she is very human in her fear and doubt of what is to come.

My only major question after reading this first chapter is: will the rest of the story be like this? The battle scene was an intense ride, and one that I enjoyed. I can also see more scenes similar to this as Lyn fights to get to her grandfather. But I wonder if you will take time out of the roller coaster to develop characters and their relationships, if you will give them moments of peace as well as war.

I'll be reading more, you can be sure of that. Excellent first chapter.

Hm, I should've known you were just fattening Sain up for the slaughter. Poor dude. Good stuff, as always. You're little tale and Sain's reaction reminds me greatly of Vestervald's(?) Boon Brothers, where Sain serves as the happy bard.

I really like your story. The characterization is good and the interaction between the characters is believable. I also like how you're exploring the possibility of Lyn losing the throne to Lundgren. I hope Sain's not dead :(

You know, I've put off writing for such a long time that I'm a little reluctant to submit a review. Feels like this is my first review, so here goes.

To begin with, I must say that your writing keeps getting better and better (I envy you--mine's getting atrophied from squinting at too many maps at work). The tale Lyn told--the idea behind it, to be precise--was brilliant! Was it your own idea, or was there a source of inspiration behind it? Biyan placed among the stars was based on Orion's tale, was it?

However, allow me to nitpick a bit--Biyan was placed among the stars, but has he learned something from it? The story felt a little incomplete because of that, in my opinion.

Characterization has always been your strong point as a writer. In this story, for example, with a few lines you've given Sain much more depth. Keep that up!

Plot is another one of your strong points. I'm not sure if this is an indication that you're writing a believable AU, but this single line (“What is their number?” Kent asked. With some bemusement, Lyn noticed that Florina had actually relaxed at the sound of his voice.) had me shipping Kent x Florina! Sorry about that, I've been spending far too much time at the shipping thread at the ASN forums. But I hope you understand what I'm trying to say here.

By the way, another small nitpick here, if you don't mind.

-- Shouldn't it be "practicing"?

Here's something I noticed about your writing style. Sometimes it gets a little...clunky. I'm not sure if what I'm saying here is colored by my own style, but I noticed that some of your sentences could be shortened to make it more vigorous. I can't explain it in detail right now because I'm having a little trouble explaining it myself, but if you want me to elaborate further, give me a little time to think about it more.

But you've got quite a knack at writing the first line of a new section in the story. "The girl called Lyndis was worth ten thousand gold alive. That was why the mercenary leader had the tactician killed first." is a powerful first line. It easily grabbed my attention, just as "There was just no end to them." did.

But for most part, you've got a good thing going here. I'm glad that despite the long hiatus this story has taken, it hasn't lost its stem. Keep the momentum going, and I await more!

no! sain! no!

Hello again, Ms. Trimurti ^_^ It's good to see another chapter of LoH up! I hope you won't mind me leaving a review as I usually do...

First off, Ms. Kitten Kisses already pointed out a few errors, and it seems you have corrected them. After those, I wasn't able to find too many grammatical or spelling errors! Very good work ^_^ Only a few minor cosmetic changes...

'Lyn had noticed but had been too focused in distracting'

I think it ought to be 'focused *on,' but I'm not 100% sure so just go with whatever sounds best to you. ^^

“It’s a little larger than that village in Bern, that one when we, um...when we all met.”

That village is a location, so it should be 'that one where we, um...where we all met.' That, or 'that one from when we all, um...when we all met.' :)

"were already sore with all the crouching and springing forward that her sword style"

I'd say 'sword style' sounds kind of redundant, since everyone already knows Lyn is a sword-wielder. "Style of swordsmanship" sounds a bit better IMO, but personally I'd just go with "fighting style" :)

"she couldn’t imagine any of them knowing any greater skill than to swing an axe."

A very nice line ^^ Although, I do think it might sound a wee bit better as "any skill greater than swinging an axe" :)

"so the times when she was not attacking she could see over the draining lake of her enemies’ shoulders and heads."

I think it'd sound a bit clearer as "so *during* the times when she was not attacking"... ^^

Like I said, just a few diction~y things ^^ Otherwise, very good chappie on the grammar/spelling front! :D

I'd say this was an equally good chapter all around as well :D This new arc looks interesting...I suppose if what you've said is any indication, this fic will earn its rating, huh? ^^ Others have already commented upon some of the great lines in this chapter, so I will just say that I agree with them ^^ I will also say that I agree that the story about the sky was very nice. I also liked the brief mention of Etruria's war to take Sacae to secure a trading route with Bern, as well as Lyn being reminded of yak's milk when she once again catches the scent of her homeland. It seems like you're really trying to 'flesh out' the world of Elibe, so to speak, and you do a very good job of it. It's something I ought to endeavor to do in my own fics as well. Excellent work!

Anyways, it's also nice that Sain gets a bit of character development, and you do that very well. You show a somewhat more serious, sincere side of him during his conversation with Lyn that the game doesn't really touch upon much, and Sain manages to stay quite in-character to boot! Most excellent work. I can only reiterate once again what your other reviewers have said and state that I do indeed hope he doesn't die. ;;_;;

Speaking of, the battle scene is also well-done; again, as usual ^^ I particularly like how Sain was felled by a stray shot from one of his Sacaean allies. Friendly fire is actually something that's not often dealt with in a lot of fics, despite it being a terribly serious consideration in actual warfare, so it's nice to see that reality reflected in this fic. Very good work once again! I'm glad you've managed to find the time to poast another chapter of this fine fic, and I hope your IRL schedule continues to be relaxed...ugh, collij x_x; Good luck with the next chapter, my friend! ^^