gosh ui!!it was not so interesting..

Wow, that was so sad. Does Mikan love Tsubasa anyway? Poor Natsume...

This is quite sad... but good, nonetheless.

The point is carried across well, although it's quite heartbreaking for the mikan+natsume fans out there.

It's a bit disturbing for me to think of Tsubasa and Mikan having a romantic relationship as all I see between them is a platonic, albeit with a lot of brother-sister, relationship.

But it's good. :)

Good job.

It's great, I liked it. I'm glad to read something different this time. I don't really care about the pairings anyway as long as the story's good... like this one.

AWESOME! I love the way you wrote this, almost no visible flaws, and cool plot. So Mikan changed, huh? Poor Natsume, he's just a day late...

Expecting more great fics from you! ^^

That was sad...

YES, a fic with them in character. (Sorry, couldn't help myself. It just gives me this great feeling when I find something that's not...you know.)

The premise of the fic works, but there are some grammatical and verb tense issues. Not too serious, but still some stuff. It's always a good idea to stay in the same tense (usually), and it was slightly jarring when you switched from present to past to the "had" form of past to present. Also, it's rare to find something bolded in a fic, so maybe the "where" could've been italicized, especially if you're using italics somewhere already. (Yay, me being nitpicky.) Though, the part where you say

This is 3rd person omniscient, but those tend to follow one character's thoughts specifically. You jump from Natsume to Mikan a little, and it looks like sometimes it couldn't have been helped, but there are ways around that.

I think this was very nicely done! You really managed to bring out the wistfulness of the entire scene, and I liked how you managed to portray Mikan and Natsume's feelings of awkwardness and lingering tenderness through their dialogue and body language. Normally, I wouldn't like it if authors wrote that Mikan's physical attributes changed to the point of no longer retaining any hint of the child-likeness (since Mikan's very essence is in child-likeness), but in this case it works for story since Mikan herself, and her situation, has changed so much.

However, there are a few grammatical/typo errors sprinkled throughout. While most are not very obvious, this story would be even better if you fixed them. Two mistakes that come to mind are the missing 'd' at the back of "golden band", and the word "unsure" in the sentence, "he can't help but notice how unsure she sounds". Also, I think this story would be stronger if you made more links to the Gakuen Alice universe. As it is, you could easily replace Mikan and Natsume with a number of different characters from other fandoms. So, if you can, try to work in subtle reminders: have Natsume light a candle, or whatever, as long as it is something only the characters of Gakuen Alice could do.

Anyway, all in all I really enjoyed this story. It was simple, poignant and sweet -- keep writing!

Aw... That was sad... I like it though... Hmm... I'm gonna check your profile out... to see if you have any more good stories like this one... Keep up the good work!

Finally a MikaxTsubasa fan fic i thought ill never find one its mostly NatusmexMikan so this one is really nice!

*sniff* real nice story! though it is a little sad, its still well written! :3

Aww... So sweet. But i never expect that to happen, though... But its ok. Its still nice and kawaii! Keep up the good work!