   Lucky-Racer 2006-06-30 . chapter 8Aw please don't end it, that would make this story realyy short :( |
| Lucky-Racer 2006-06-30 . chapter 7 What the heck, Slade is not a bat! What bat are you talking about?
Oh! A baseball bat? O_o...
Oh.
XD
I play baseball (well, softball, if you get /technical/) and it's kinda sad sometimes to see my favorite tool being used as an evil weapon!
Oh yeah, but, that aside, good chapter!
:) |
 Chaltab 2006-06-17 . chapter 1Hey, thanks again for reviewing my story Colors.
You're story has some good points, defintiely. You characterization seems good and it's not all random and stupid or filled with Mary Sues like too many FF.N stories are. And the grammar is good.
I think you really do need to go into a bit more detail, though. You have eight chapters here with a total of only 30 words in the story. My advice would be to either condense several chapters into one, and make it maybe, a two or three-chapter fic, or expand all the other chapters, make them longer. Obviously, you don't have to write 10,0 word chapters to have a good story, but a bit more detail would go a long way.
Hm.. Otherwise, I really don't have any complaints. |
| theauthor(hehe - i cheat) 2006-05-28 . chapter 1 Just commenting on Nikanuu comment
"The story is kind of boring me. YOUR stories are really choppie and short. Try to make them longer and have more detail in them."
Its kinda funny, she/he was trying to get revenge by saying what i said- the difference, i had a list of, lemme check, 12 things over 3 (really short) chapters where there were grammatical or choppy phrases, how many did she list? lemme count, o ya, none. Don't you hate it when crappy writers try to get revenge, when really they end up looking stupid, yes thats right Nikanuu, you look pretty damn stupid.
LAFT |
| Terra106 2006-05-28 . chapter 8 Continue please.I like this story. |
| wrdc 2006-05-28 . chapter 8 The story is kind of boring me. YOUR stories are really choppie and short. Try to make them longer and have more detail in them. |
| wrdc 2006-05-28 . chapter 1 This chapter is really short and I really don't get it right now, but I'll keep reading and reviewing. |
| Terra106 2006-05-22 . chapter 7 Why did you just stop!It was so cool when BB Showed up!Go Terra!Update soon! |
| Terra106 2006-05-22 . chapter 6 Ok this is getting betterevery second.What cave is it anyway?Update Soon. |
| Terra106 2006-05-21 . chapter 5 Oh no!Slade is back.And here comes trouble.I hope Titans find Terra before Geo give her to Slade.Slade is a mad man.Evil man.Anyway update soon! |
| Terra106 2006-05-21 . chapter 1 Update soon! |
| Terra106 2006-05-21 . chapter 2 I enjoy this story so much. |
| Terra106 2006-05-21 . chapter 3 Great story. |
| Hotshot45 2006-05-20 . chapter 4 Nicely done. Please continue. |
| Terra106 2006-05-20 . chapter 4 this is a great and complicated story.Anyway updateb soon!.I like the story so much that i can't wait for more. |
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