Well, you sure are a speedy updater... -cough- When was the last time you even glanced at this story?

The main problem I have with your OC is her name, "Raven." That's got to be the most stereotypical name... ah, I won't go off on a rant about it, but just know that it really, really bugs me.

I guess she's a little sueish, but if you make sure that she doesn't suddenly have tons of superpowers, she should be fine. If you construe her mutations as more negative and painful than a "good" or a "cool" thing, that'll help even more. The main thing that gets me is the name... that's like putting a blinky neon sign that says "Sue Here!," even if it's not true.

One other quick note: How come Yuan hasn't tried to capture her? He doesn't seem like the "good cop" kind of guy, to finesse answers, he seems like the "capture first, ask questions later, get the job done as quickly and efficiently as possible" type guy.

I hope you come back to this story someday, even if you have to rewrite it because it's so old. The premise is pretty cool, even if the details are a little off. ^^"

-Aion

It's so interesting. I couldn't stop reading this until the very end and swore when i realized there wasn't the next chapter. My vote goes to Yuan. He's the ultimate best xD!
Great job =) I love the twist with the crystal and all. Can't wait for your update!

i really like this story, and i really think you should continue >:

I know it's been a while, but it's amazing.

It'd be so great if you could continue... It's getting quite good!

She should end up with Kratos

I really like this story. It realy isn't the typical 'I was sucked into a show / movie / game' kind of story. It's different, and I like that. The chapters are long, which is good, and it has a good storyline. A few grammar errors here and there, but nothing major. Quotations and italics are used correctly, which is also good.

I know the votes are already in, but I vote that Raven (a.k.a) Kris ends up with Yuan in the end. Kratos is my second choice, but I still don't think he's over the whole 'Anna was killed by my own hands' thing. He most likely still loves her.
And, when Lloyd finds out that Kratos is his blood-related father, what would he think of Kratos if he ended up with Raven?
'You move on just like that?'

That's just my thought. Who knows. You're the writer after all.

Once again, I really like this. Please update.

-Jayne

Nice intro. This isn't your typical "sucked into the game/TV" kind of fanfiction. It's nicely developed, creative, and original. Nicely done! :)

I loved it, please write more soon!

It was very interesting,I liked your story a lot!
And,uh...Wasn't Yuan engaged with Martel?He already has a dead-fiance...right?I'm not very sure if he'll just forget his 40.0 years old love...Anyways,update soon!

I love your story. Kinda reminds me of my own a little, since we both stuck ourselves in really good games. I can tell good self-insertion author(ess) by one main story thing: They hurt themselves in some way.

Our selves in the "game world" should be just as human as the us in the real world. Until we transform into dragons or gods or the like. ;) Can't wait to read more!

please update! i love TOS and this is a really good story its so easy to get involved with the character >_< you just cant leave me hanging! *gives cookies*

No, the puppy-dog eyes of doom! Sorry. I really liked the slight brotherly/sisterly moment between Lloyd and Raven. I don't think the only person that Raven should really talk to should be Yuan. Perhaps you can have her make friends with one of the female characters? Raine or Sheena would probably work best since their near Raven's age. And I think it would work well if Lloyd became like a brother to Raven. Please update!

KYAH! Hey there. Been a while since I checked up on this thing! Once again you don't fail to give us a long chapter. I'm envious. The first ten chapters of my other story were like, only 1,0 words long each. Rah. Anyway! YAY YUAN! This story is starting to become really kick **. I hope Raven is gonna be ok and... TOMATO!

Also, I have quite a few theories on Yuan's last name, because I'm a dork like that y'see. One theory is that he's so old he simply... forgot.

Of course, I like this idea better: Yuan Yggdrasial. Muaha. Muahahhahah. MUAHAHHAHAHHAHAA!

OMGWTF!RED EYES!EVILNESS!AWESOME!I think that she has multiple personalities like when she went nuts on Botta.

I had a hunch she might tell Kratos but I knew she'd tell Yuan eventually.Can't wait to see what's going to happen soon.