KEEP THIS STORY GOING MAKE IT 200 PLUSE LONG STORY ITS JUST GETTING GOOD MAKE A SEIRS TOO WELL UR AT IT SO LETS GO VOLTRON FORCE

That was, again, beautiful. You did well with Dirin.

This was really good. I really liked it! ^_^

Great story, but c'mon! Put Keith and Allura together SOMEHOW, for crying out loud! :P LOL!

Wow. That's a powerful story. You have talent, Ms.MaraJade. I wish I could write like this. Keep up the good work!

I read this over back and forth with "Midnight Interlude" this morning at my desk--I couldn't get over the line about Allura's scarred hands. Nanny is unbelievably cruel--the words bit at me as if I were the girl she were chastising like a child. How it hurt! And the careless insult you only hinted at in "Interlude" was far more biting here; it was a wonderful recurrence of something that evokes a tremendous amount of feeling. Well done.

I'm very, VERY impressed with how you deal with Nanny. In the series, she is comedy; she is funny; she is an obstacle for Allura and her friends to be amused or irritated by briefly, then get past. Here, she is a truly formidable foe. She is a major obstacle to Allura--indeed, the one she's been running into all her life.

I also love the character of Prince Dirin. He is an opponent, a pawn in a scheme, a romantic rival for Keith, and he is ultimately conquered, but all of this happens without him being a JERK. It is NOT easy to write something like that. I applaud you.

My favorite part of this arc of the story involves my favorite space explorer, Lance. (smiles.) He is indeed a lovable scoundrel, and he cuts a dashing figure no matter what he wears. He puts on his MOODS like clothes, and he will not behave any way other than as himself. His handling of the situation with Dirin and his gentle lecturing of Keith were handled with surgical precision. Lance is the perfect wingman, and he truly cares for his teammates. Keith and Allura are lucky to have someone as brave and clever as Lance in their corner. Friends in need are truly friends indeed.

The loveliest prose, though, had to be in the description of the uncomfortable clothes. Halfway through, my feet ached in sympathy for Pidge and I was tugging at my own collar, desperate to be in something that was more ME.

Wonderfully entertaining, even better than the last. (smiles.)

First off, I just gotta say WOW! I've never really seen the Force like that before. I found myself tearing up in a couple places.

Two, don't ever stop writing. You've got a gift for it, and I'd really love to see more from you. (Did I just sound like a teacher or a mom there? Sorry.)

This was interesting, and I loved how things moved, flowing nicely from one scene to another and how you went about revealing thoughts and emotions without having to be long-winded about it, as some writers tend to get (myself included, sometimes). Thanks for the story, and I can't wait to read more of your work.

Keep up the good work, and Check 6.

DragonLadyRelena

that was GREAT

Beautiful! You vividly captured both the thrill and the torments of a secret love.

I'm so glad Dirin turned out the way he did; love is an excellent teacher no matter who the pupil might be.

I want to give Lance a big ole bear hug, and then I really want to slap Nanny! lol. It's amazing the power that woman has, considering she's considered a 'servant'. Hope that Allura will stand up to her, and that Coran will stand by Keith.

Put this on my favorites list...
Every good wish,
Lynne

You write very lovely descriptions...I could clearly picture the room and its occupants. Terrific characterization of the Voltron pilots too. I especially enjoyed the ending conversation between Keith and Lance- it sounded extremely natural and was a great set up for the next chapter. For Keith to be able to read Allura so accurately, and for Lance to read Keith the same way was a nice way of showing just how strong the bonds are between the Voltron force.

The Prince would definitely be the weak link. He seems to be a nice enough guy, but appearences can be deceiving...^_~

Have to read on to see what happens next!

Every good wish,
Lynne

I'm really enjoying this story! Everyone one is kept very much in character. Nanny and Allura's argument was very well done, as was Keith's conversation with Coran. I especially liked that Coran is recognizant of the fact that the lions are more than machinery, and that an unbreakable 'bond' exists between their pilots. ^_^ I share that belief, and based my own Voltron fanfiction on it.

More later, after I read the next chapter!

Every good wish,
Lynne

Great story so far. I'm glad that Dirin understood what was going on between Keith and Allura, and realized he wasn't going to play a part in the Voltron Force. You are a very talented writer, and lately, it seems, that's getting harder to find. Excellent job.

-Red

I forgot to mention how I liked your portrayal of the prince. Normally all the stories about a prince that is intended for Allura depicts the prince as being a real prick.

It was refreshing in this case that the prince was not only a nice guy but also respectful of Allura's feelings for Keith and Keith's for her.

Great job and great story!!

Another lovely story!! I do hope that this will continue to be a series of stories. It's the best Voltron I have read since "A Princess and Her Knight." Maybe that is because I am such an Allura and Keith fan. But regardless, I would LOVE to see this continue even further. :)

oohh, a follow up!! :) I haven't had time to check for a while to see if there was anything new. This looks to be as good as "Midnight Interlude". I can't wait to continue.