Reviews for Chaos and Innocence

Reviews For: Chaos and Innocence - Reviews: Page 1 of 9

cjloverforever 2008-08-07 ch 18,	abuseOkay, wow. I just sat down and read this whole thing through for the first time and I am floored by your talent. This is so much more than fanfic and it deserves to have recognition someplace other than here. That said, however, I'm glad you posted it here, otherwise I never would have had the pleasure of reading it. Where to start? Your attention to the tiniest detail amazes me. Your imagery is incredible (I'm a sucker for that) and serves to produce a very realistic scene. Every time a hint is dropped, particularly with regard to a character's background, I find myself wondering if it will be relevant in the future. I don't think I've ever been challenged like that while reading a fanfic, and it feels great! I have also never warmed to a story involving non-original characters like I have with "Chaos". However, I'm not particulary warming to the characters themselves, which I find even more entertaining, because this speaks again to your incredible story-telling skills. Take Amanda, for instance. She's all over the map with the way she deals with her sister. She appears loving and caring towards her in general, and distraught when Kat was in the hospital, which are all things she should be feeling. But then there's the matter of her arguments with Edgar regarding the decor of their house. She can successfully operate a billion-dollar company, commanding the respect of thousands of employees, (not to mention bossing her sister around in the office) but she can't stand up to her sister's guardian when it comes to painting Kat's bedroom? I don't buy it. Maybe this is just a simple case of how she was raised (keep your emotions in check and don't let anyone see you stumble) but I'm not sure. Sorry, but there's just something about Amanda that's off, and I'm not quite sure she's really who she seems to be. I'm also not sure her history with Nancy is legit. Nancy, at one point, comments she's been told she's known the Bleaks since birth, but fails to recall any memories of them before the age of eight. Did she not see them often enough before then to have established a memorable relationship with them, or is there more to it? Nancy is an intelligent person, not to mention a detective. Surely she would have something (a story from her father, a photograph, anything) that would create a memory of the Bleak/Drew relationship before the age of eight. It just doesn't add up. Then again, I wouldn't put it past your incredible talents to have pulled the wool over my eyes, and I am completely aware I may be focusing on something utterly irrelevant. And call me crazy (or desperate) but where does Nancy's mother's murder fit in? Never, to the best of my recollections, have we been told how Nancy's mother passed. You, however, go out of your way to mention Nancy knows her mother was murdered, Nancy just doesn't know how or why. Maybe it doesn't fit into "Chaos" but I sincerely hope you address that issue in future books. Kat is an endearing, complicated girl who scares me. Her lack of emotion and need for specifics is just dangerous. I love that you chose Joe to be the one who attemps to figure her out and get through to her; he is such an enigma himself and it is a joy to find an author who truly understands him and isn't scared off by his multi-dimensional character. I could go on and on, but this is just getting lengthy, so I'll leave you with one last comment: I am truly looking forward to finding out where you take this story. It has been a pleasure to read and had me wondering for hours after completion what could possibly happen next. Thank you for taking the time to write and post your talents here for all of us to enjoy. Sincerely, cjlover P.S. - if there's still time to vote, I would like to see a turn towards a Nancy/Frank relationship. While I understand that this is not your primary goal (to create another Nancy/Frank story), I believe you have the talent to devolop something special between them while still making the mystery the primary focus.
Fashion Designing Diva 2008-08-01 ch 18,	abuseOh wow I am so happy you updated! Really good chapter, can't wait to read chapter 18. Oh and I really don't trust that Eddie character.
saphiretwin369 2008-07-12 ch 18,	abuseI'm so glad to see you've finally updated! I really like this story and you do a great job of writing the characters. Nice chapter!!
LazyPanther 2008-07-11 ch 18,	abuseSHALLOWBUNNY! YOU'RE BACK! waves madly OK, wow, it's been so long since I read this I had to go back a couple of chapters to get the right setting for this chapter. I'm glad they found Kat but I feel for Joe and Amanda. How frustrating when you're irritated at someone for good reason and they can't fathom why! And then she blames Joe for it! Well, now he knows. Nad really, this could have turned out much worse than it did. Where on earth did Eddie come from? I don't trust him one bit. I hope Kat knows what she's doing this time. Luke and Derek seem nice enough, but Dante... Hmm, I'll have to see more of him before I can form an opinion. For some reason, I automatically don't like him... I guess because he's head of security it gives him the best oppurtunity to do something to the Bleaks. But if Amanda trusts him, he should be fine, right? Kendra Dupre. Interesting. I wonder what part she'll play in all of this. I have to admit that I'm not particularly drawn to her (more because of her attitude and bold flirtation than her manner of dress) but she is nevertheless of very intriguing character. I loved the way you described Joe's approachto her (and females in general)- "easy and arrogant and full of charm". Typical Joe Hardy. Funny how he entertains the thought of taking her out for coffee not two minutes after telling her about his girlfriend, though. But even in the books, Joe and Vanessa never seemed like a real devoted couple to me. Which makes me kinda laugh when people describe Vanessa as Joe's true love that saved him from his feelings post-Iola. I prefer to think that Joe saved himself, with the help of his detective work and his big brother. But that's off-topic... To be honest, I'm happy with Joe being with anyone, as long as he maintains a certain distance from Kat. And you already know my reasons. :) I loved Frank's awe of the technology on the security floor. He's such a nerd, but he's so lovable in spite of (or because of) it! Also, loved how he took control of the situation, despite the fact that there are "adults" in the vicinity with more authority. He doesn't think that way, when he sees that something needs to be done, he just makes sure it happens. That's my boy! :) Really, all three detectives are like that I suppose, but Frank seems to naturally be the unofficial "leader". Must just be his personality and the fact the he's an older brother. It's natural to be the one in control when you're the oldest in a family. And I loved how he did feel some anxiety like everyone else, but he made such an effort to hide it. I just love your Frank!! AND... I'm glad that you made Nancy into a normal person and not Wonder Woman. No woman can succesfully run in high heels without doing some damage to either the chase, herself, or the shoes, not even Nancy Drew! ;) So it looks like the group is breaking up for a while... I wonder what will happen next to shake things up a bit. I hope you can produce another chapter soon! :) And I hope things are going well for you. Take care!
sara 2008-07-10 ch 18, anon.	abuseWelcome back Shallowbunny. It is nice to see your name around here again. I must say I am surprised at the lack of reception you recieved. I love how crap is reviewed and revered on this site but brilliance is left to die. You are a talent. You bring these characters to life. Your settings are immaculate. Your metaphors are amazing. Don't stop writing ever. Joe is so typical when he stops to flirt with Kendra. Possible romantic pairing hint hint. I like Kendra, but I also like Kat. Amanda I think is a little 2 abrasive for Joe but they also have some good heat between them. You gave yourself some interesting possibilities here. Frank is so typical when he takes charge of the situation btw loved how you showed Frank and Fenton as having the same traits. Also loved how Frank was in Heaven being around all the cool technology. He is such a nerd but I love him to death. Oh Nancy what were you thinking. Next time wear better shoes. LOL. Kat, damn girl loved the inventions. If the three detectives keep playing with the girl are they going to have some sweet toys to play with themselves. This girl needs to get out of her own world she is her own worst enemy. Not her fault but really . . . lol. Amanda, Kat, Dante, Luke, Kendra, Tim, Eddie you have a great cast going here nicely woven in and all interesting in their own differences. I hope this is a cast that stays. They don’t interfere with the story but they progress it nicely. I am sick of the stories that have Frank, Joe, Nancy, Bess, maybe George cuz those are the only characters you read in the story. There is no mystery or one that is half assed, the bad guys are all the same Mick Devlin who wasn’t a bad guy in the first place. I like this one cuz it is deep and not focused on just throwing Nancy at Frank I am not opposed to that but I want more than that. F*ing brilliant job. Please keep writing.
Blix 2008-07-09 ch 18, anon.	abuseOMG you finally updated again! I am so happy to see that you haven't abandoned this story. This was a really interesting chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens next. I'm sure I've said it before, but I love the way that you write each of the charactes, they're so realistic.
h2olgd 2008-04-16 ch 17,	abuseWonderful story with excellent character work. Read the whole thing in two sittings. Loved Joe's sad eyes comments, priceless. If you're still polling, all for NF, never really liked Ned. Petty jealousies never really appealed to me. Hope you plan to write more soon?? Maybe?? Please?? Sometime??
Diamond and Stars 2008-02-10 ch 17,	abuse-squeaks- thats it? You left it on a..a.. cliffie? Gosh darn it!! Anyways, let me actaully review this story..ha ha I
anonomys 2007-10-05 ch 17, anon.	abuseUPDATE PLEASE! Please tell me you didn't abandon the story!!...
anonymous 2007-07-12 ch 17, anon.	abuseOh please update soon! I absolutely love it and want to see more between Nancy and Frank.
lightwarai 2007-06-24 ch 17,	abuseOh my gosh! I am shocked to realize that I hadn't reviewed this yet! I think I must have started to a few days ago, but... I guess something happened. Oh well. SO here I go! (I'm just running late lately.. I guess!) What an amazing chapter! What a start! I loved the entire scene with Joe, but I think mainly because of the fear and anxiety that you portrayed so well with him. My heart was beating fast, and I was truly scared for Joe and Kat. I can't explain it, but there were a few moments where I was truly alarmed. I read it so fast (each time I read this chapter, I find myself reading faster and faster) that I feel like I keep missing something, and probably am. I kept waiting for Edgar or someone to pop out in front of them. moving on... Nancy and Frank. OH MY! :) I loved this! I'm a nut for N/F stuff, and this was such a unique perspective. I'm sure I've read something like this before, but the way you wrote it.. I felt as if I were Nancy and I was really in such close proximity to Frank. This was just so great! A few times, I wanted to just shake Nancy... but :) I loved this!! I have to admit, I was pretty surprised about the UPC codes. I feel as if that was one of those "duh" things, but maybe that's from working in retail for so long. When Joe arrived... I felt so bad for him. And then the deal with Amanda. It's great to see some conflict, even though both were concerned for Kat. THe more you reveal about Kat and her family.. the more worried and confused I become. I hope you'll be giving us some answers soon! You're gonna drive me up the wall! :) And now Kat is missing? AH!
You Can Call Me Blix 2007-06-19 ch 17, anon.	abuseIt's so nice to see that you've updated again! I'm sure that everyone really appreciates all the effort that has gone into this story, especially all the extra research you've done. Sorry for not reviewing in a while, I've had exams and not much time to spend reading fan fiction :) Loved the most recent chapters, and I'm looking forward to seeing more soon!
Jen711 2007-06-16 ch 2,	abuseI'm really liking this so far and can't wait to read more when I find time. Don't worry...I'll make time! And submit an actually helpful review.
Roswalyn 2007-06-13 ch 17,	abuseWhat an amazing, intense chapter! From the very beginning, you had me on the edge of my seat. Joe's anxiety was nearly tangible, and every word I read, I kept waiting for some evil force to snatch Kat away from him. I really felt for Kat -- the poor girl was finally starting to enjoy herself, when Joe had to take her back. Not that he wasn't justified in what he did, because it was for her own safety, but still, you reminded us vividly that despite her intelligence, Kat is still very much a young girl. You continue to do a wonderful job with your character development of Kat and Amanda -- rather than giving the reader everything all at once, you continue to give us these tantalizing little glimpses into their characters that are slowly painting a picture for us. Simply wonderful! And speaking of wonderful, I loved, absolutely adored, the tension that you created between Nancy and Frank. They were both so aware of each other on a physical level, yet at completely different times. It's ironic, considering how in-sync they are with everything else, that in this one regard, their timing is off. Not that I'm complaining -- it helps add to this delicious tension that you've created! You've left us with quite the cliffhanger at the end of this incredible chapter, my friend. I hope we get to find out what happened to Kat soon!
LazyPanther 2007-06-13 ch 17,	abuseAh, here it is! Great chapter, as always, but the ending has me a little nervous. I have a love/hate relationship with cliffhangers... Anyway, thanks for sharing! :)

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