Please update!

Almost three years since. I love this.

I adored this story and do update soon.

Ohh, I really love it!
The language you use is really beautiful, I admire that. And I also love the way you are dealing with everyone's feelings here. The way you match them with character and age, the way you present so many different persons from different angles. I love the sweetness between Atemu and Seth even though it doesn't seem to be meant to last...Really great chapter!

Hi! A very interesting story you have there. The way you characterized Atemu is interesting even if a bit not to my taste, but overall, the fic is good. Keep it up. ^__^

Wow, great chapter. I really love the intensity between Atemu and Seth, and the despair of Atemu's love. I also love how you're sticking with tradition and the writing style you use! It's really beautiful! I have to leave so I can't write more but I owe you this review for quite a long time, so I'll submit it now.

The words young Atemu can think! Lol.

He is writing again when he has been told to sleep? So like Seth.

So it isn't Seth? Well I hope he finds Atemu.

O! Yes, this is good.

*swears* Oh no.

Oh o. That can be good and bad.

Hi Ara-chan! (blows kisses) Loved your story! They’re so kawaii as children! I still find the idea of Shada and Seto utterly disgusting, however! (retching noises in the background)

So anyway, here are some issues that came to light upon my reading of this story.

1. The depiction of their characters
Atemu: I agree with your portrayal of him as a spoiled, bratty, attention-seeking little prince. I mean, let’s face it, he is a prince and thus, have certain expectations most especially as a kid. In other words, he’s spoiled. And like all spoiled kids, they’re used to getting what they want, are often possessive, demanding, and all that. Also, because of his title, he often feels no remorse for his blatant disregard of the rules, which you pulled off quite nicely. However, like all kids, they have people they fear; the authoritative figures, which were portrayed by his parents. His natural arrogance however, causes him to chafe under these restrictions and force him to plot ways in which he could slip past them. But the thing I loved most about little Atemu is his boyish adoration of Seth. He’s simply too cute for words. (grins) I wonder, is he also vengeful? After that stunt Seth and Shada pulled…I know I would be. (smirks)

Seth: I liked it. Fits the person you portrayed him to be, except when he was with Shada. I understand that because Shada is older and seemingly more knowledgeable of the two, he’d hand the reins of control, figuratively speaking, to him and just follow in his lead. I do hope that in the future, that would change. You have to start to present his arrogant nature sometime. And we all know how very arrogant he is. Besides that, Shada doesn’t really strike me as all that dominant/ assertive as you described him to be. But in that time and place, I could see why you placed him in that position, like I’ve said.

2. Akunadin and Seth’s relationship
In their first meeting, Seth was suitably awed by Akunadin. He also feels wary of him. But in the anime, they hold a close almost father-son relationship and he holds Akunadin in the highest regard. I am just curious how you would get their relationship to evolve to how it is now. Or are you planning on changing that? I noticed that his relationship with Shimon is similar to the one he had with Akunadin in the anime. How are you planning to deal with that?

3. Mahaado’s role in Atemu’s life
Dear sweet, devoted Mahaado! We must not forget about him, especially since Atemu obviously favors him. I see that you haven’t introduced him yet. It would’ve been interesting the chaos and the rift he would cause in Atemu and Seto’s relationship when he does come in. Maybe you could incorporate that? It may also account for the seemingly harsh rivalry he shares with Seth.

4. Older Seth’s behavior towards older Atemu and vice versa
In the anime, Seth always seems driven to get his pharaoh’s attention. Notice how he always jumps to the opportunity to demonstrate his powers? He’s also fiercely protective of Atemu, preferring that he remains in the sidelines where he would be safe while he set out to defeat the threat to his pharaoh’s life. Pharaoh Atemu on the other hand, seems to be a bit distant, even though he does pay attention to him when necessary. Now, considering the strong bond that Pharaoh Atemu shares with Seth in your story… I have to wonder how you plan on solving that little inconsistency. Or will you be disregarding that part of the YGO timeline and create your own ending?

5. The other priest’s behavior towards Atemu
It’s understandable that they, Shada in particular, seem to belittle the prince because of his age and level of maturity. I’d just like to point out that in the future, the priests are very much respectful, protective, and devoted to him. Again like I’ve said, if you plan to reconcile the two worlds (past/present and future), you have to find a way to get around that little fact. You could say that with age comes wisdom, and thus, come their respect for him. You have to show that change in behavior though.

6. The main point of the story
Obviously, it’s all about the relationship of chibi-Atemu and chibi-Seto and how it evolves from friend/guardian/companion to lover. So far, you’ve done a great job. Omedetou Gozaimasu Ara-chan! (squeals and glomps Ara-chan) I like how you presented the different concerns regarding their relationship, both the platonic and romantic one…how you’ve taken into account the different factors that affect it.

Whew! (Looks at all that she’s written) That’s really…a lot. Hope you’re satisfied with that. Also, hope I didn’t inadvertently offend you or anything like that. I’ve been told I’m brutally frank and am known to insult others without me noticing or actually intending to. Hmm... What else, what else? Oh! Please, NEVER introduce Kisara in the story! I’ll even beg on my knees if I have to. Please Ara-chan?! Or, if it can’t really be avoided, please do not introduce any romantic feelings between her and Seth. PLEASE. (puppy dog eyes) Oh wait! I forgot! You kick harmless, cute, little puppies. I changed my mind. I’m now a cute little neko. (grins widely) Surely you won’t hurt a cat! I know you have cats!

I really don't know what to say for this one. So, I give you all the praise I gave for the last chapters and those of Reality Check and hope this streak of writing does not fade beyond salvage, like mine. I patiently await for the next chapter. Hopefully I'll be around to review right when you post.

Another great chapter! I enjoyed how you have Seth and Shimon interacting- and having Seth emarrassed by the praise was a nice touch. I also liked how Shimon is almost acting like a proud father and then in the next scene you have Seth's real father almost echoing Shimon praise.

And the way the scene with Seth and Atemu turned out is great! It was fun watching Atemu atempting to get what he wanted and Seth in conflict as he acknowledged what he felt. It was interesting that he conciders growing "the core of unquestioning obedience that he had always been proud of lacking." as the prince falls asleep against him. And I liked the contrast between his feelings for Atemu and his reactions around Shada. And it was also interesting Seth's views about Akunadin.

Again, great chapter- can't wait to see what Atemu's reaction to Seth and Shada will be!

Even though you'd mentioned it before, you caught me completely off guard with Shada's intro. (Well done by the way.) And I'm totally loving Seth as a character! He's just so multilayed and you keep bringing out stuff for us to see that hasn't even been hinted at, like his ability to know where Akanaden is hurting and the other abilities you revealed (don't want to spoil to much for anyone who reads reviews before a story.) More!

hi, Honeydew Dumpling of mine *glompses thee*.

I'm studying like crazy ^^;. Wren-chan has all my sympathy.

ok, I finally decided to get a break and read your update. Good wifey *pats you*.

so... I really liked Akunadin reminiscing Seth's mother. definitely adds more substance to the character (considering also I never actually watch episodes featuring him ^^;).
Seth's seeing the light about both his and Atemu's... peculiar situation. You managed it well. the wine stain was a nice device (sneaky sneaky Authoress and Atemu the Peeper :P), but I wonder if it's foreboding someway too.
and now... the question... Shada? who is Shada? o.o;; I can't place nor remember him at all...
here he's getting things between S&A to become even messier. Possibly explicitely so?

I feel bad for Atemu now (he has realized/heard everything, hasn't he?). these discoveries could really screw his balance, thereso making him more vulnerable to the Shadows (see him in the beginning of the chappie, soon after he exits his mother's chamber). he's very very young, he's a darling (although he's spoiled rotten); on top of it all he has a 'control freak' streak coming with the 'I'm a God' package (and possibly with the 'I'm Dumpling's sorta fictional projection' package ;P. But fear not, my darling Honeydew. it also includes thy adorableness =^^=).

well, now I must go studying again T.T.

bye,

eli-ko

Nice chapter, although the Shada and Seth thing disturbs me. XD

I think that it would have been better if you had not given Seth's mother a name.

Anyway, poor Atemu. He is so young and has seen so much already. I hope that he isn't too hurt by seeing his Seth with someone else.

Update soon, Dumpling! ^ ^

I really like the relationship between Seto and Shimon, and how he's uncomfortable with praise. I also like the idea that Akunadin cared for Seto's mother, that gave him a more human touch.

The triangle between Seto, Shadi and Atemu is well done, since the feeling between Seto and Shadi is more friendship an enjoyment at least on Seto's side than the love he's just realized he feels for Atemu. But given his feelings of what is proper, he probably also considers Shadi a more appropriate partner. And I liked the way you slipped Seto's age in there -- at 16 he isn't very old himself, in spite of his many responsibilities.

wow, beautiful!
I always love Seth-Atemu-childhood stories, and even more so if they are realistic and well done as this one. I really like the way you created that bond between them, that fondness, based on their first meeting where Seth impressed Atemu with a child's weapon.
I also like the way you describe the two of them learning about the Shadows, I loved Seth meeting with Dios in the Realm.
Atemu is dreaming about himself as the King of Games? Wow! I'm so looking forward to more of this!

Good chapter. I just can't see him with Shada. Ibet Atemu was awake and heard everything. Now he knows he is not the only one in Seth's heart. I'm sure he is very hurt.