confess, kiss, suck, knead, fuck, floor?

Perfect for quick turn on, quick cumming in bedroom at night, thanks! :pp

though i need sentence like: 'tsukino moans at the teasy sucks asuma gives, her eyes half opened in lust, staring into asuma as he works on her blobs of fats.' Or something like that :3

well... the story doesn't really have much of a plot... [except TsukinoXAzuma once in a while is nice]

otherwise, LOVE the end line. XD

...You should probably have someone proofread your stories before putting them up. the moment is a good one. but could use less bad grammar and more details. just a little helpful advice.

This is pretty awful. You have barely a skeleton of a plot and horrible trouble getting your tenses right. Give it a thorough rework (and this time with spoonfuls of lemon, not just a drop) and I might give you a more through criticism.

haha kyousuke was really funny LOL.

The Ending was hilarious!

How Kyouske entered like that!

lol at the end XD i love it though

XD

awesome ending.

flour?

Stupid Kawachi! You disturb them! -laughs-

Omg how embarrassing XD

This story is very romantic,but i wonder what's happened when kawachi saw them have sex

Great work thank you.

Ruto Kuntai

Very short, but it made me laugh when I reached the end.

hi... wow... just wow... i really like it because i am a real tsukino kazuma fan...hehehe

Er..not very passionate and lemony...

Are you a beginner? It doens't contain enough substance to be very interesting.

Try to write a longer one-shot next time...

This is a friendly advice...don't get mad...

Byebye!

Toa