Paopou. :3

Dont know if you still want a sasunaru story but i have a plot type thing for one and im never gonna use it so here...

In the world everything was free, all was peaceful, and everyone was kind. If you knew how to get it, that was. In the streets people were forced to do unspeakable things in order to survive, and if you were lucky, you would die or be taking and be made into a slave for those who had everything they could ever want. Unfortunately, I was one of the later and I just happen to have the worsted master of them all.

Sasunaru

I think you can get the jist (idk how to spell it) of it from that...yo can use it if you want.

And here we have even more of a depart from realism. He's having sex a couple of days after giving birth... out of his rectum... an opening that shouldn't be releasing anything near the size of a baby...yeah. Okay

Those are two truly horrible names. Sakaru and Sakuru? Completely uninspired. As for the birth, it was WAY too quick and way too easy. Push push push, 1 baby, push push push, 2 babies. All over in less than 20-30 mins. I'd go back and put a little more effort into making that a realistic birth scene. I know he's a male and it won't be exactly the same, but if you think about the physiology, since you have him giving birth out of his rectum (which of course isn't possible without tearing him wide open, but for arguments sake let's say it is), a male would likely have a longer labor because his body isn't built to push out a baby like a woman's is. Anyways, that's my criticism.

I was right, I completely love you. Such an interesting take on the paopu fruit. Quite awesome. *puppy eyes* Let's run away together!! xD But yeah I loved man. I find MPreg quite interesting, I don't find much though so yeah I'm glad to have discovered yours.

Keep on rockin my panda-like socks!

*rubs hand together in satisfaction* oh joy! Male love! *random blush*

Ahem anyways I seriously like what I'm reading so far! Yes epic romance!

Expect me to profess my undying love by the last chapter haha!

good story so far, but it would be MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH MUCH better if it was also an AkuRoku (Axel X Roxas) fanfiction instead of AkuOC or Ash, or what have you. (WRITTEN WITH LOVE!) ^_^

Oh dear. I'm a critic and I have been reading your story so far. Anyways, This chapter brought your fanfiction rating down from 9/10 to 7/10 due to some grammar mistakes. Make sure when you are writing you double check some spelling mistakes. But so far it's good. I'm going to continue reading and see how high your rating goes up.

Naitsumasu

Hurray for sora!! Twins, wow that's going to be exhusting. Love this story btw, oh and he could have had the babies by C-section, (where they cut open your stomach and take the baby out like that.) Can't wait to read the rest.

hehe. I love this. =]]
Really cute.
The only criticism I have for it is you don't use commas when they are needed. Oh, and the use of too instead of to, and vice versa.

Other than that, it's utterly adorable and was a great way to waste my Friday afternoon.

xoxo

amazing story! I really loved it!

Another baby, perfect ending.

thanks for the great read

Phoebe

Who exactally is Ash?
Like is she from a manga or an anime or is she just made up?

P.S Great story line!

Boy, if I were Riku, I'd be one hell of a happy camper. Didn't have to pay for his own tux. XD

... Sora jacked my dream car. D:

This is great! I love the way that you move back and forth between the two, its really exciting, and it adds to the story a sort of flair.