Maybe too extreme but interesting, I guess. The end however sucks: it's too sad!

Things I liked:
Poor Tohru, great description of her treatment though
Aww, I like how you show the pain that her disappearance has caused everyone
Wow she's pregnant, nice twist

Ways to improve:
Really work on your characterisation
Try not to repeat words or phrases
Use knelt instead of kneeled
Make sure to keep words in the same tense
Fantastic way to end the story

Good work
~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
"About three months has pasted"
"I then wetted it with water"
Characterisation is really really off
The conversation seems too flaky and lacks emotion
Author Notes
It's a bit cheesy in places

Question:
Is English your second language because some of these sentences just don't make sense

Things I liked:
I like how you portray the two of them together
I really like the description of their interaction
Aww, the Kyoru interaction was so adorable!
The letter was so bittersweet - good use of emotions
YES! You used the title! I love when authors do that!
Aww I feel sorry to Kyo-kun
Great way of shaping her sadness
The end was pretty sad

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Tons of repetition
It seemed stiff and over structured in part
Author Notes
The conversations in this fic are super short
Characterisations seems to be off again - ESPECIALLY Rin
Overstructured

Things I liked:
Good emotion in the first paragraph
I agree poor Yuki
I like the different patterns that the characters chose
Nice character interactions
Aww the Kyoru was adorable here
Poor Momiji, I feel sorry for him.
Good way to end it

Ways to improve:
Try not to repeat words or phrases
Grammar error: "Its ok"

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
"my usually spot" - usual spot
Author Notes
Wrong form of the word sight: "funny site"
Tohru seems EXTREMELY OoC to me
Having him call her Miss Tohru is kinda weird but then I'm looking at it from the Japanese language perspective
"I replied nothing knowing why"

Things I liked:
I like the character interactions
Characters seems more in character this time
It's cute that Kyo is concerned about her
Fantastic descriptions of the room

Ways to improve:
Spacing error: "forplenty"
Work on creating depth within the scenes
Try not to repeat words or phrases
Work on strengthening the characterisations
Slowing down the scenes may help in establishing the emotions

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Disjointed/choppy sentences
Overuse of the word said
Pace is a bit fast
It seems overly structured and that makes it awkward and pretty uncomfortable
You make Tohru an even bigger Mary Sue than she already is
"Popcorn was followed right behind us" - followed by whom?
Emotions don't seem real to me

I've noticed in this fic that Tohru seems really really OoC and I'm wondering whether you're basing the POV more on yourself than getting into Tohru's head, it's a pretty newbie mistake but I'm kind of thinking that's what you've done. It's a good POV to have it's just not Tohru

Things I liked:
Poor Tohru-chan T_T
Nice use of emotion
Wow...Yuki is very evil in this fic - good twist
These twists are pretty interesting and well-thought out - Excellent work XD
Yay! Kyo-kun XD

Ways to improve:
Try to simplify the lines since the structure is a bit too busy

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Some of the lines are really confusing
Overuse of the word said
"Whose Yuki" - wrong form of who's
End was a bit rushed

Things I liked:
Good descriptions, I ike the OCs
Yay XD I love all the flower accessories in this story
I love the way you described Tohru's new look - it suits her but is too preppy in a way
It's cute how supportive Yuki and Kyo are
Yay she's dancing with Kyo-kun XD and Yuki's conversation with her is sweet as well
Yeah, Yuki's vagueness is confusing me as well
The part at the end really interested me

Ways to improve:
Make sure to keep a steady tense with the words - you switch between past and present a bit

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Overuse of the word said
"You should trouble these people just because of me" - he should? o.O
Some grammar errors: "Its" - "It's"
I really doubt they could design and make a dress in that amount of time - watches Project Runway almost religiously
"If I was man"

Things that I liked:
Aww it's so cute how they're both beside her
It's adorable how protective Kyo-kun is
The Kyo-Yuki fighting/bickering is done really well
Kyoru scene is sweet
Yay XD Momiji-kun!
Riceballs XD! Awesome!!

Ways to improve:
Try to eliminate and in your wording: "sad and wet eyes" - "sad, wet eyes"
Try not to repeat words or phrases

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Overuse of the word said
Disjointed sentences - you could put a couple together and with some rewording it would be more effective
"Sorry, I was so worried" sounds a bit OoC for Kyo
The guys seem too emotional, I mean they are men so they wouldn't feel so open with their feelings

Things that I liked:
I really like Tohru's classes especially PE but I'd take Aya for more of a drama teacher than History
I liked seeing Uo so angry
The Uo-Hana scene was pretty funny
Shigure seems to be in character - so Popcorn wasn't him, aww that would've made a brilliant twist - and he really should get fired for saying things like that.
Shigure actually reminds me of Kimura-sensei from Azumanga Daioh a little. o.O
Poor Tohru-chan
Aww I'm glad that Kyo-kun's there to cheer her up
Good descriptions in the fight scene - I personally suck at those
Great way to end the chapter

Ways to improve:
Lengthen the lines of dialogue
Work on Tohru's characterisation - she'd never think of Kyo as an idiot

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Structure seems a little wishy-washy to me
Overuse of the word said
Spreaded - should be spread and kneeled - knelt
Personally dislike the obsessive capitalizing
Disjointed sentences: She was passed out. She began to dust herself off. - could be joined to the sentence before or after since it's part of the same clause
Rin seems really OoC - sorry that I keep going on about this but she's my favorite female character

Things I liked:
Aww, it's so cute how panicked she is about Yuki-kun
Fantastic descriptions - I could just envision Yuki living here
Yay gardening XD - the strawberries are awesome
This Yukiru scene is completely adorable actually this chapter is very cute
Lol, I like how much she panicked learning she'd be staying with him overnight
The end was really really sweet

Ways to improve:
Try to find other ways to refer to the character rather than just first names
Work on Tohru's characterisation
Make sure to keep everything in a consistent tense
Spelling error: "you'll get use to it"
Spacing errors at the end.

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Overuse of simple conversation words: example "said"
Disjointed sentences
"There other one was a wall"
At some points Tohru switches from casual to formal speech
Tons of repetitive words
If it wasn't Yuki saying this then the guy would sound pretty damn perverted

I'm still really really angry about the whole Popcorn thing but I'll have to finish this fic *sigh*

Things I liked:
Yay, Pretend Yukiru
I really like the idea of a dance since there's so much you can do with it.
A buyer? Very fun inclusion
Fantastic descriptions
I like the interactions between Tohru and Akito
I have the idea that Popcorn might be Shigure - that sounds insane right?
Lol, the word Battosai always makes me think of Kenshin

Ways to improve:
Break some of the paragraphs up a little
Work on characterisation

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Disjointed sentences
Haru has feelings for Tohru as well - aww T_T I'm a huge HaruxRin fan
"Hiro were watching"
Again the simple conversational words are overused: "said" "asked" "replied"
I would have expected more emotion over Akito's reveal
The characterisation seems off to me
Yuki seems to be too calm about these events - I don't think any guy would
"We both hanged up" should be "We both hung up"

Things I liked:
I really like the way you've used Tohru's voice - aww I love her reaction after the alarm, the way you described it was beautiful
Aww, I love messy Yuki XD
Fantastic descriptions and imagery
Really cute interactions
Aww she made lunch for him, that's adorable
Cute, Yuki has a pet but popcorn is a little weird for a name o.O

Ways to improve:
Try not to repeat words or phrases
Use knelt instead of kneeled

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Disjointed sentences
I'm not sure she would be so open with her emotions
Overuse of simple words: "said" "replied" "asked"
Pace is a bit rushed
I don't think sarcasm fits Tohru's character
Rin is extremely OoC
droozily?
I really really think it's strange to give away a pet - Yuki doesn't seem the type who would do that. I really hated that part because it just doesn't work, sorry but it just..was horrible.

Things I liked:
Cute Tohru-Kyo dynamics, I love the fluff!
Now I really want to go swimming, no fair!
Excellent descriptions
Yay! Yukiru fluff

Ways to improve:
Make sure to keep things within the same tense
Try not to repeat words or phrases
Lengthen the lines
Try using knelt instead of kneeled

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Rin is extremely OoC
Some of the ideas seem underdeveloped
Disjointed sentences

Things I liked:
The flashback seems so sweet but the small hints are also scary
Aww, cute Kyoru scene
I love the idea of a relative coming - pretty exciting
Kyo's back story is pretty sad
I can just imagine that Kyo would make an excellent big brother
The dynamics between Tohru and Momo are pretty sweet
Yay Haru and Rin XD
I like the plot twist
Nice way to end it

Ways to improve:
Try using knelt instead of kneeled
Lengthen the lines a bit
Try not to repeat words or phrases
Spelling error: "embarassed"
Spacing error: "alittle"
Try to work on characterisation

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
Overuse of the word said
Pace seems a bit rushed
Rin seemed pretty OoC to me - okay REALLY OoC! she's NOTHING LIKE THIS

Things I liked:
Nice way of opening the chapter - good use of emotions
Aww it's so sweet how he wants to take care of her
Yay! Kyoru fluff XD
Aww poor Tohru having to experience this
I love the way Kyo acts as her savior
Aww the end was adorable

Ways to improve:
Try not to repeat words or phrases

~Myst
Things that I didn't like:
I don't understand why certain parts are separated from the rest
Overuse of the word said
Disjointed sentences
Tohru seems OoC to me
"pass 3 years" - past three years
kneeled should be knelt
The love confession seemed to come too easily