|Reviews for Max and Kyle|
| Purple Strobe 5/28/06 . chapter 1
With all honesty, I have to say that you lost me before a quarter of a half in your story. You are trying to write a story, not a summary. Start new paragraphs once in a while, especially when someone new comes into the piture. As another character approaches, you should add some detail inside of it and not try to give them one line each and go on. It makes the story very, very uninteresting. And that's just in the first two minutes of reading. You seem to be writing and e-mail instead of writing a story. Well, don't mean to flame, but I noticed you had no reviews and I just don't want you to stop writing because of that.