PARAGRAPHS.

I can see this is something of a Wish Fulfillment Chapter. "Die, you annoying Forest Fruits!" Writing it must have been very cathartic.

I can see you're fond of the section marker "5 Hours Later." Not needed. It denies the reader the ability to see the entire massacre in all its glory.

You're going to want to think about renaming some things. "Evil Master Sword" is not especially creative, or even descriptive. It makes me wonder if Shadow Link has an Evil Hookshot, Evil Mirror Shield, and Evil Bombs. That are Evil.

On that same line of reasoning, you need to make Shadow Link a more rounded and distinct character from Link himself. If he's just Bizarro Link, he's not very interesting.

ONWARD.

It's Ganon. If it's not, I'll slowly devour this hat I hold now in my hand.

The usual critiques apply here: Paragraphs, rushing, lack of details.

The red fairy was the one detail I was really intrigued by.

great chapter, plz continue this!

YOU CANT KILL MIDO!

Your a Malon and Link fan arent you?




A Zelda game without An Anoying Navi would be great, once when i was really anoyed with navi i tried to shoot her with my fire arrows.

It was okay, you need a spell check, and your rushing through some parts. Slow down and describe whats happening. Thats all I can say at this point...

no offence, but it was kinda lame...try to do some spelling checks and editing. Also I couldn't feel any depth...i'm sorry, but you'll need to work on it more.