|Reviews for Angels of Vegas|
| HoneyLynx 6/7/06 . chapter 8
Hey, your spelling and grammar is good! I never complained about that! *pouts*
Seriously, though, I've seen your kind of dialogue spacing in many published books so I'm assuming it's not "wrong" or anything. It's just reading that format on the computer is kinda hard.
The case is really interesting me. The victims appear so random... but ofcourse, we'll get to find a surprising link to them!
And Warrick's getting divorced? Hm, if you weren't planning on a Warrick-Cath thing, I would almost have expected a possible love triangle (throw in Grissom and that makes it a quadrangle :P)
| icklebitodd 6/7/06 . chapter 8
is there a 'tina is a bitch' club i can join?
i don't think anything is wrong with you dialogue but then again my expression, puncuation, spelling and grammar suck or at least thats what my friends and english teachers say - seriously i am an alevel english lit student you wouldn't know it.
so anyways i'm babbling like a kid whose in trouble.
the link is natives and the target is to be warrick - am i right?
looking forward to 'monsters of vegas' now and the tongue in cheek little sassyness of this chapter
| icklebitodd 6/7/06 . chapter 7
"this three hundred pound golden-oldie was definitely no woman...though he hadn't been much of a man either." come on isn't it bad enough he died without you making amusing little suggestions not that i mind found it funny
so a fat tub of lard verus skinny woman and the feeling of stupidity o well could be worse they could be lard man
| HoneyLynx 6/6/06 . chapter 6
Hmm... Sassy flirting? Me like!
Ohh, there's just one thing tho... um, I think I mentioned it before and wasn't clear about it (my fault, I know)
your dialogues are like so:
e.g. Jim said, "...". Paula said, "...". They walked together. Paula then said, "..."
Since I have extremely damaged eyesight, could you maybe try this format:
e.g. Jim said, "..."
Paula said, "...".
They walked together. Paula then said, "..."
I HOPE that makes sense. It's a really little problem and your story flow is great otherwise. I hardly read a Sara-Sofia fic where one isn't jumping the other's bones in the second chapter. I like character and story development, which you do well.
And oh, Java Hut? I don't know why the first thing that came to mind was a tropical-like cottage with waitresses dressed in Hawaiian costumes, serving Pineapple cocktails.
Now that my essay is done, Please Update Soon!
| icklebitodd 6/6/06 . chapter 6
the neon gas had me as an unexpected twist and the previous chapter just wept futile but hey
thanks for the pocket had a brilliant night sleep returned to me own bed and barely slept i may need to discuss rent.
i liked this one and the irony i'm a sucker for it but hey, annonying isn't it young managers, i'm 18 and my supervisor is younger than me my manager is only two years older than me.
liked the firts date idea and the danish is the most important thing you cannot bvisit a coffee shop without buying a lemon fruit danish, the nicest coffee shop in my opinion is cinnamon square but its not a chain store so thats probably why - tangent
looking forward to more now you've added the sassy element in offically. wo
| HoneyLynx 6/5/06 . chapter 5
Whoa... neon gas poisoning? (not that I know what it is) The case sounds interesting.
On the show, the Sofia and Sara relationship is like a yo-yo, going from equable to outrageously lousy. I think you are dwelling on the positive aspects, which is different, which is good.
And the very thought of Sara spending a NIGHT with Grissom just sends my gross-o-meter going sky high.
| icklebitodd 6/4/06 . chapter 4
and the linkage is made woo
is it just me or do you favour sofia in her all black outfit?
woo warrick stood up for sara bout bloody time someone did
thou i haven't atched the finale i get the ending n am liking your interpretation.
i went on a rollercoaster today (grissom brought it to mind when i read his good mood) 0-80 mph in 2.48 seconds bloody brilliant
liked the interplay of them all and gentle back story thats linked really intrigued with this now
and as for me being the palm of your hand - ca i move to your pocket my bed time is fast approaching (its 11pm)
looking forward to more sweetheart
| HoneyLynx 6/4/06 . chapter 3
Gotta hurry so will read the next chapter later. But...
“Pouting is a a childish pity-party, brooding is a very adult-like long and thoughtful process of working out a problem.” LOL! That's so very Sara. She wouldn't ever wanna be caught dead "pouting"
And the show never really dwells on it, so thanks for showing it in ur story, but Warrick and Sara would make such great friends. They both have a lot more in common than what we are led to believe.
And ur stories make me hate Catherine with a vengeance and this is SO not a good thing if I'm writing a Cath/Sara story :P ... but that's the beauty of ur skill.
| HoneyLynx 6/3/06 . chapter 2
Good job! I think you showed the Warrick-Sara dynamic pretty well.
As for that hug scene with Warrick, IMHO, that's because Warrick is one of those people Sara can feel "safe" with. Just as you wrote, she and Warrick may have past issues but their work relationship was strong too and therefore they don't have much of a personal thing, one way or the other, towards each other. I think one other time that Sara hugged anyone was Greg. Hugging these guys come at a relatively "No-strings attached" sign.
With Nick, there's just this positive tension and with the women it's this bitchy rivalry. With Grissom, the less said the better...
Now that I have rambled on...
Really looking forward to reading this piece!
| Missy Holland 6/3/06 . chapter 1
This sucks, I haven't seen Way to Go yet, so I don't want to read this, but I so love your stories ! * cries out loud * So I just scrolled to the review button without reading this. * smashes head agains wall * gr, I hate this! don't worry, it probably is a wonderful story!
| icklebitodd 6/3/06 . chapter 2
no you see i am a w/s shipper as well. snickers makes me feel uneasy i just don't like the character of nick
i like this chapter and thought it was very sweet the shock was also quiet good from warricks view point. and now someone else ie warrick sees papa brass as thta. looking forward to more and to see how it linked in with your ex boss inspired prologue.
you have me yet again in the palm of your hand
| icklebitodd 6/3/06 . chapter 1
it took me longer to read the bloomin' authors note then the story, you don't want get caught out do you?
i loved the description of the pleaing and the man? though i have to admitt the line 'you really don't want to hurt me!' always in any fic on here makes me laugh the anwer is no they don't they wnt to kill you, maybe its my morbid sense of humour.
liked the angel idea gives motive and a small piece of explanation really quickly.
so now i shall go to chapter two