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| JesseTravisfan 2007-12-09 ch 2, | abuseIt would be nice, if you continue this story. :) |
| Startwatcher 2006-07-23 ch 2, | abuseI have to say that this next instalment is much better and getting somewhere. Atleast we know who she is and what has happened. And it's a surprise to learn that she's a relative of Jesse. This chapter held a lot of suspense and quite a lot of questions on Stve's part. I will be anxious to read where you go from here with it. So I do hope that you post soon. |
| Startwatcher 2006-07-18 ch 1, | abuseWell firstly I have to say it's kinda short and there is no plot to it other then the girl is waiting tables and customers men are making a pass at her. There is no hint of where she is working or anything. I think you need to rethink this story and get all your w's in the right like who.what when & where and what fores. It's like there is a restaurant customers come in made passes and remarks and then she leave cause her shifts over and she gets rund over. end of story. You need to ask some pros to help you figure out a plot and build your charactor. |
| a writer of fics 2006-07-15 ch 2, | abuseOff to a good start and I can't wait to see where this story goes. |
| princess moon shadow 2006-07-14 ch 2, | abuseLove it! |
| eponinehugo 2006-06-05 ch 1, | abuseI think this idea could go somewhere, but you really need to sort out your spelling and punctuation etc! |
| princess moon shadow 2006-06-04 ch 1, | abuseLove it! PLease update soon! If not for anyone else,then for me! |