Beautiful story! I loved it!

Oh, damn. I took a printout of this story to the gym and actually got sniffly-eyed while on the stairmaster!

Very moving and emotional story here. The last image with Carth trying to hold on to Revan as long as possible was truly heartrending. Almost makes me wonder if you'll write a little tag where Revan and Jolee talk jus before he summons Carth.

My hat's off to you.

I wish everyone would STOP KILLING OFF MAIN CHARECTERS! I've been on a fic binge all morning and there are too many dead Revans and Carths out there
Down with FCMS!

Sorry it took so long to review... But I loved it. I kind of have a thing for fics where she dies at that point. But I like how Malak died as well. You also did a good job of keeping them moving without losing the drama. Time was of the essence and you didn't waste any of it. Great job. Sorry you missed the deadline.

You have many strengths as a writer, the least of which is your ability to complete a story. I've mentioned it before, but your stories always have a satisfactory end and your structure is always well done.
This piece is no exception.

What I *would* like to see is more showing rather than telling. Specifically with regards to Revan's injuries. Instead of a laundry list of them, maybe have them be revealed through her trek to get to the turbolift or something.

I like how this was sneakily a Revan-death and not a Malak-death like I thought. Poor Carth. His grief was well-described and there are few Carthian lines that I love. (I think writing HIM is one of your strengths too)
"He was basking in the rush that came from defeating the odds."

"He didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to believe that their future together was over before it had even started."

Nice work.

That was so sweet and sad. Really beautiful.*Wipes tear from eye* Really well written.
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