Although forever these ruins may last

And countless people have these ruins passed

I like those 2 sentences the most. I didn't like the date phrase.

Oh, that was really good! Like a nice poem every now and then. Great work! :D

I know for a fact that this is what every poet does NOT want to hear, but your rhymes sounded a little bit forced. I really liked the idea, and certain lines stuck out, such as "In Zanarkand, six learn the lie,". This line stuck out as being really inspired.