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| Dalia N'Shard 2006-08-06 ch 1,  | abuseJa I like this, this is gute,very gute. |
| Captain Frozen Hotdog 2006-06-09 ch 1, | abuseVery nice. You describe the trench brilliantly. I like how you brought in the fact of disease and casualties. Definitely a good, insightful one-shot. I hope to see more work of this caliber. ~The Captain has spoken |
| J Luc Pitard 2006-06-08 ch 1, | abuseCertainly evocative, but needs some improvement. Early on you say "she smelt them" but you mean she smelled them. Very different. Are we to know who Kreig is? Since his name is so meaningful in this context, I need to know if he is a character you've created or an embodiment of war. There are formatting problems that could be corrected in the edit/review process. I like the idea of Rip ruminating in her odd/crazy way, but you should give this another edit. |