Reviews for Eyes Closed - FanFiction.Net

Reviews For: Eyes Closed

atoz 2007-08-18 ch 1,	abuseGreat characterizations of Mission and Carth. I could hear their voices matching the words. I'm pleased that it was different from other character deaths that I am used to reading--you did not write out Carth's death, but it is understood that he will does die. I also found the story title to be effective (it made me want to read this story). I only thought it odd that Mission decided to go to sleep herself, but that can argued. On the whole, it was well written.
Revan's Pet Duck 2006-06-15 ch 1,	abuseI disagree with Captain Anon, I think there was a lot of sentimentality, it just wasn't exactly straightforward or anything. It was something that was much more inside the characters than straight out saying "Mission was sad. Mission was crying. This was a horrible moment." To be honest, I really like your writing style and the way your writing seems so detached but you can really see the emotions the characters are feeling without being straightforward. I especially liked the disscussion of lifespans. We have these set times to live... but we're not really all going to live through to those lifespans are we? There are plenty of thigns to prevent that. Good stuff. Really good stuff. :)
Queenofinsanity 2006-06-14 ch 1,	abuseWHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE KILLING OFF CARTH! It's a wonderful story, but I REALLY wish people would stop killing him off... why's it so tempting to do so? Now I gotta go cry... again
Captain Anonymous 2006-06-13 ch 1, anon.	abuseHmm. I think you have great talent, and you have an artist's eye for capturing moments. (I've read some of your other stuff on kfm) I just don't understand what you're so afraid of. This piece was like a set of beautiful crystal wedding goblets, let's say, that you give to the bride but when she opens the box there's one missing. And that's how your writing is. It's beautiful but there's ::always:: something missing. This piece felt like there was a huge chunk taken out right in the middle. For this being a Last Moments piece, Mission and Carth's conversation had a huge hole in it that was covered over in silly barbs and strained actions taken by the author to ensure there is NO SENTIMENTALITY. If two people realize this is probably the last time they're going to see each other, there is NO NEED to keep them at a distance for the sake of not being fluffy or dramatic or whatever. Like is Mission really going to give a shat that he irritates her? How can he irritate her? The man's ::dying:: Time to let the pointless b.s. walls down and get to it. And no, you don't need a weepfest to achieve it either. It seems like you write this great stuff but to ensure maximum de-fluffification, there is no heart to them. There's the banter and the minimalism and all that, but no real guts. Write something with guts, for a change. Don't be afraid of showing some emotion. Let your pieces just go and see what happens. 'Cause that edge you wedge into every story is starting to give me a pain in the **.

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