Obviously there isn't much to do about what I suggested sine you already posted the chapters and I just sent my first review like... 5 minutes ago! BUt any who, It was funny, just like your first one, your description was a bit better, make sure you really describe it though, (within reason, don't spend a page to describe a tree, but you get the picture, I'm going to close the brackets now k!) yeah, also there was a lot of dialuoge, a story is more than that. You would be a GREAT screen play writer, but unfortunately this isn't a movie it's a story, (wow that was harsh my bad) so just either cut down on dialouge or eve nit out with somthing else.
TOODLES

Ok, well I liked your humor! And I thought some os the personality's of the the different people was thoroughly thought out so good job!! Now comes the criticizing part (it is sort of the point of the reveiw sorry!). Ok, I love dialouge, but you had a lot. I have a lot in my stories and I have been trying to cut down so you're not alone! I think you are going to need more description, I mean it's one thing A LOT of people don't do on this website or fictionpress (I'm VERY guilty of this! hehe)Any who, so yeah, I did liek it! And I can't wait to read on! Wish me luck!

Sofa is sorry for the late review D:

better now than never though, right? anywho, good chapter (y'know, for a filler) Link acts so immature it seems, then again, he DOES have a ten-year-old mind in a 17-year-old's body XD

he's such a blonde. As far as gramatical errors go, I didn't catch any, but then agfain i wasn't looking for them so...

not your best, but still very good. UPDATE SON!

srry audrys my real name so that other comment on chapter 1 was sent by me:) but any way loved it!

that was so awsome!XD

I know you're already about sixteen chapters ahead of this point, so apologies if any of my critiques have already been considered or corrected.

The Big Hook for the story seems to be replacing Navi with Rekhyt, but I'm kind of struggling to figure out how the two are fundamentally different. So far, I haven't seen anything that would make this especially different from the game itself.

This is another compounding problem - similarity. There are so many "Adaptation of Game X" that don't do anything but retell the story of the game that one's eyes start to glaze over after a while. Since I know what's going to happen, why should I care? You have a good opening for a different take on the story, what with a new character in place of another. However, I didn't see any real deviation in this chapter. Perhaps things will start to branch off later?

In any event, it's a promising premise that just hasn't gelled quite yet. Good luck as this progresses!

nope*checks pulse* you're not dead, my good fellow.

Death is bad.

just a little.

anyways, um...YAY! new chapter soon! *hip-hip-hoorah!*

I really liked this chapter, and I hope you can continue to make this story as interesting as it is now. I am glad you send me your stories, and I have been reading a few every day, since I got so far behind over the Holidays.

eheh, sorry bout the REALLY late review...but, uh, anyways... this was a seriously funny chapter, and you're right the forest temple wasn't like the game at all (except for some parts) but that's ok, making stuff up as you go along is more fun than following the exact map of the temple (even though I try to stick to the way the temple is supposed to be in the game)

can't wait for more, and once agian, sorry the review is so late

ahaha, Link is such a blonde, I agree. Great chapter, and I loved the title 'I See Dead People', even though I've seen a lot of jokes with that before.

don't make me wait as long for the next chapter as I did for this chapter, okay? :D(did that make sense to you? i'm pretty out of it today)

i like it...very funny although ive already read it and ruined my chance of laughing out loud while reading it. Plz continiue to write for this story its really funny and i like your style even if i do read them in advance

I really liked this chapter, it was funny, but I think you forgot to use the spell checker. It would be a good idea to do that every time. You are making me want to read the next chapter to see where this goes.

that last part with Link about to sell his earing was so random! but hilarious! but, there seemed to be more gramatical errors in this chapter (like impationt instead of impatiant at the begining)but there easy to just ignore


funny chapter! especially with Link's blond moments...haha Link's a dork :D

alrighty, sorry this took me forever to do

anyways, I totally support Shiek being a male! only problem I see with it is that at the end, shiek like, turns into Zelda right before Link's eyes, doesn't she? how will ganon capture Zelda in that pretty crystal thingy?

well, scince I haven't beat the game yet, I'm sure there's some sort of loop-hole in the game somewhere where you can make Sheik be a guy, and I'll leave it to you to figure that otu, but once agian, yes, I think you should make Sheik a male (especially if you already have half a chapter written for him being male)

That was great Yuko! its hard to believe you wrote that...you dont seem like you would write in that style except for the comedy and name calling!! ^.^' well heres you review!
=^.^=