The characters you write feel so real, they are three dimentional taking after the feel for them you get from the manga. I look forward to more from you!

aw, how cute!

Amazing... I felt the awe.

I told little sister to go through piano books to see if we could find Sonata 8. She said no.

"and now it feels as if there were never any festivities here at all." I think that's pretty typical of the Souma family.

"the small breezes that carry the faintest scents of perfumes that have never been worn by anyone who lives here" I am thinking there is a deeper meaning here, if I just knew what it was... This is the only time outsiders come into the house, or this is the only time that anyone in the house would do something as frivolous as wearing perfume?

The wind imagery in the next paragraph is beautiful, too.

Ah, Akito... master of the grand art of self-delusion. Because being a god of your own world looks so much better than reality...

Hatori behaves and plays his part well. Well...until that incident with the marriage and the vase...

"to see the woman my father probably married" The essential heart of the matter, beautifully done. A glimpse of how she looked before the curse pulled her in.

Ivory... as in the piano keys? Or is there a different or additional significance to the title?

Er... quick note. Summary said "Rin", not "Ren". If it were anything besides FB, that wouldn't be an issue...

Yay, good job! Much love and much applause for you!

-Shinju

I want to cry and I'm not even sure why... I mean, it was happy, at the end, and I've been wanting to cry since the beginning, before it even got especially poignant...
Which it had nailed, poignancy. And I am so completely overjoyed that you really wrote this, and so soon!
I've figured out one the things about your writing in general that attracts me to it so much - the words, something about them... you know how when you read some things, you can skim, get the gist, just collect the points? Most things even. That isn't so in your things. The words are the point; you have to read every single one to get the full impression.
And to be more specific. The whole beginning - the house, the way Akito contemplates going to Hatori and Shigure and what their reactions will be - is so... immersing. That's the best I can put it.
Then, everything... the whole scene with Ren and Akito. It's so heart-pounding, for a million and one reasons.
The ending, with Hatori and all the... with the sparks of life, and the possible saving of that something in Akito... so perfect.
(And I owe you an e-mail, which you will get tomorrow. Not to be off-topic or anything.)
This was so intense I had to read it out loud because it was all bottled up inside. That's never happened to me before...

That was beautiful.