I love this story I've read it three times already Uzuri is my fav oc of yours

i wonder wat will happen next

its pretty good. Fakir seems a bit out of character to me, and theres very little ballet in it, but its good.

ive just finished reading the whole story omg its fantastic! words cant describe how fantastic it is! well done love this story!

Well this is sure interesting. Not bad. :D

It's a lot better now. Thanks! ^_^

Good. I like it. I mean the story IS good, and you've made some really good decisions, not letting them get past everything easily. You have imagination.

However, you should get yourself a beta reader. I got tired of fixing the words and sentences in my head. Even I could beta read this, and English isn't even my mother tongue. Your sentences are too long, and you use too much, sometimes even misuse, some words. I have had to add words myself, and skip every unnecessary "then". The story would flow nicely without that word.

"I fixed a little bit of it. Here's how you wrote it:
But however though Ahiru was not in his line of view, then he turned his head and saw that already that she was already starting her exercises.

Pique then started to speak up for Ahiru, “She’s working really hard already. So please forgive her!” She spoke quickly.

Then Lilie continued for her, “the apprentice class is fine, but please excuse her from the marriage!” She also spoke quickly.

Then idiotically to similar to a cat Neko-sensei started to roll around on the ground in a circle."

And here's how it could be writen:
"But Ahiru was not in his line of view. He turned his head and saw that she was already starting (to do) her exercises.

Pique started to speak up for Ahiru:
“She’s working really hard already. So please forgive her!”
She spoke quickly.

Lilie continued for her: “The apprentice class is fine, but please excuse her from the marriage!” She also spoke quickly.

Like a cat Neko-sensei started to roll around on the ground in a circle."

I'll keep on reading, because your plot is really interesting. And because you are good with that already, you could in the future give some notice to the stuff I mentioned. I'm sorry for being rude and harsh, but I like the story too much - I like you too much - to let you do mistakes you could avoid. And if you think you can't do it, try to find a good beta. If you don't find any... Well, you can always PM me, and I'll do what I can. ^_^

Thank you for publishing this story, it's really cute.

I absolutely loved this story!! Full of creativity and originality!

sniff sniff sniff my face was soo close to the screen my farther had to pull my head back so i dont fired my eyers i love it love it itititititilobve if there was a beeter word than love i would say it but there isnt look in the diconary there is no better word than love i love this story

isn't that there story of the six swans? with a twist? but anyway i love it so far :)

Thank you! It was awesome!

Such a sweet ending. I look forward to your next story

WOW!! That was amazing!! I can't wait for the next chapter!

I was a little confused at first, but I understand the whole mask thing now. I'm beginning to wonder if this is gonna be UzurixFakir or AhiruxFakir...I'm hoping it's the second choice XD And I'm starting to like Uzuri. Or maybe it's a like/hate thing 'cause sometimes I start to hate her...Okay, I'm rambling now.

P.S. what does Uzuri mean?

it is a good story, "But however though" I noticed some punctuation errors, sentences that don't seem to make sense, and overused words. The most annoying of all is when you use "But however though" all in a row! you should use only one of them in the begining of a sentence unless you're saying (for example)"however, though he fell seven stories, he still lived." (and I'm not even sure if THAT is correct) I don't know if you've corrected that already, but it was bugging me so I wanted to point that out. But about the story, I LOVE IT!! it's going really well and the Fakir moments always have me on the edge and the plot's getting very interesting. I'm off to red the rest! TTFN!