*Eyes glimmer* How very interesting.

I know Scout wasn't acting out of her own free will, but doubling back on betrayl still doesn't sit well with me.

I do appologise for not getting around to reading and reviewing this sooner, the joys of a hectic life (not).

Looking forward to the next chapter. You haven't discontinued it have you?

corrections:

"Leave me along!" -- alone
"took Asterik out of his pocked," -- pocket
"window seals" -- window sills
" In her hear he breathed" -- ear

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Okay...he's telling her all about that vial, and like Zur, telling her how to defeat him. *shakes head* How stupid.

LOL. ""What Zephram wants, Zephram will have,” he pinned her down. In her hear he breathed, “And what Zephram wants is you.”"
-- That's just way too lame of a line for him to be spouting. What happened to this big, evil, overlord he is supposed to be??

I'm sorry...that escape was just too easy. --Everything-- happened very quickly. Is Zephram that confident - or that stupid?

Okay, now I really dislike Scout. If there's one thing I can't stomach it's people who betray but aren't vindictive and self serving enough to stick to their betrayl.

Other than that, cool chapter.

See...i knew there was more to her betrayal than the page showed.

*giggle* Jarlath is certainly a glutton for punishment. "THUNK ow. THUNK, ow. THUNK, ow."

-- by the way...you left the "H" from those three in the story.

I wonder if Zur will realize he gave Sarah the answer to Zephram's defeat.

This story is getting good so please keep writing more!

I thought it would be Scout, though for a single sentance you had me thinking it would be Didymus. Brilliant chapter. Though you are evil for ending it there. *glares*

What will become of Sarah? I wonder what kind of plan is brewing in your mind for our heros. Later.

HAHA!

Scout! I knew she would be the betrayer. I never liked the girl since I first read her entrance. The meeting at the beginning of chapter 7 sealed it.

But all is not as it seems. The story also tells me that there is more to her betrayal that what's on the page.

I'll be waiting...

-- Well...now that FF is working again and I am not being interrupted so that I can leave a review (I've read this chapter about 10 times already)...

"Fair is foul." "And foul is fair."

-- Ah, allusions to Macbeth. My all-time favorite.

-- I would suggest differentiating her dream from the rest of the story, either by italics, or bold, or dividers. When you get to the switch where she wakes up, it's confusing for moment trying to figure out what's going on.

-- So...the transition...

"...disappear along with the charred and blackened surroundings. Sarah suddenly felt herself..."

-- The "Sarah..." part should begin a new paragraph. That's current time and not part of her dream.

-- And...this part...

"When she attempted to scream, she looked into the miss-matched eyes of Jarlath. His hand was pressed to her mouth and his index finger was over his lips..."

-- Then you stated...

"Sarah shared a quick glance with Jarlath. Silently, Jarlath crept over to her."

-- There was no indication that he had moved away, so why did he crawl back? Or was he stretching way out in the beginning to cover her mouth and keep her quiet?

-- If I ever get time, I will go back and re-read this from the beginning. I *KNOW* that in here, somewhere, the story gives itself away.

-- I *WILL* find it. ;-) Sneaky little thing...

Thanks for the update.

nice

You just make me feel really old, that's all. And no, I'm not telling you how old.I am.

I wonder if perhaps you've just given away the entire story right here.

Yes?

No?

We shall see...

YAY! New Chapter!

Only 16, huh? well, Happy Birthday early!

Jarlath as an old man - it suits him. Wonder if they'll ever realize he was telling the truth?

"...THE finest Cat Burglar..." ? we shall see...

Wow, Sarah's getting a little sly. . . I like it.

And I feel Jarleths' pain when it come to the lack of female visitors, mayhaps that why I like him so much.

Oh, and happy Birthday for the 22nd because I will no doubt forget to say anything to that affect when it comes to the next chapter.

Lol yeah Jarleths a great character very..unique.
I myself have been addicted to the pokemon games and have played everyone in excistance irecently finished leaf green for the second time and i'm 16 so no worries.
That Zephrams so eveil he's great.

Update soon~Ocean Fairy