I was going to read this story until I finished the second paragraph of chapter 2. The grammar, sentence structure, and spelling were so awful that I couldn't concentrate on the actual plot. You definitely need a beta. I couldn't read the story so I can't offer any comments on the actual content. Improve the basics and you could probably have a decent story.

nice story you got going here. i don't ususally like LxH fics, but this is really good. can't wait for the next chapter!!

amazing more please

great

O.O

Summary: It's NOT "dentenions" but detentions.

Sentences that are incorrect or just do not make any sense, at all:

"what if instead of Dumbledore lapdog how about someone who could set the school in order"

"Not possible, the paintings can see through clocks"

"Lucius, the school needs someone to set the strait,"

"Dumbledore wasn’t asleep but actually walking around, he doesn’t know what hit him and course him to fall, but he was not in a coma,"

"The painting say that know one was the Ron, besides Dumbledore is far too smart to turn his back on someone he didn’t trust"

“Maybe he no one was there, is there something that could tap into people’s minds?"

"Harry Potter, now there’s a boy who gets too much credit, Harry may have lost a lot of friends and loved ones but he’ll never give up."

All of that in one chapter? A chapter which is, might I add, a page? *laughs* oh, forget that. Perhaps half a page.
But on to the next chapter!

"Albus floating through walls could hear the whispers of the students that were upset about"

"she was too busy trying to find away to people her real Headmaster."

"By the end of the day she had decided to write home and ask her parents to rent a copy of the show and send it to her."
Electricity doesn't work at Hogwarts. >_> That's basic knowledge for fanfiction writers who write fanfiction about students in Hogwarts.

"Cordy, or something, get taken to an astral plane?"

"She turned towards the voice, and right into Lucius Malfoy’s grey eye’s,"

"A.S.P.A."

"she will not walk with her head high nor with the importance she gives off. She will be broken."

Shall I continue?

And, by God, how is it that an author such as yourself, who doesn't even seem to grasp the concept of 'decent grammar' receives reviews of the kind that you do? For Christ's sake, I guess there will be a smut scene by the fourth chapter, Lucius punishing Hermione for something 'the filthy little mudblood' did and they have incredible sex and Hermione, first scandalized starts enjoying his big, huge ** pounding into her tight wet passage?
*shudders*
I can imagine already.
And, of course, Lucius will be totally turned on by the mudblood because she was just so beautiful and the guy realizes he's in ** love with her.

What do you need:
1) Decent Grammar
2) Good Spelling
3) A plot
4) IC characters
5) A realistic plot
6) Basic knowledge of the series you're writing about.
7) Writing skills.

I was wondering when you're going to update?

Just read all chapters tonight. This is getting really good. It's been a while since you updated, hope you are not giving this one up, it is too good not to continue. Update, please.

bad lucius... update sOOn...

I really love this story so far so please update as soon as you can please.

Good chapter. Hm...this is getting interesting. Can't wait to read more. Update soon!

Hphottie14

Great post, love the story, can't wait until you post again, so please post again soon. Thanks.

Lool! Lucius making sex and thinking in Hermione! ahahaha! Well you have to update soon, really soon, please don´t take soo long as this last time!

do you still need me? email sunstar223 at aol if you do.

Thank you for Updating. I look forward to your future chapters.

--Lilith Kayden

Great post, love the story, can't wait until you post again, so please post again soon. Thanks.